Dylan Grosz, an intern at Apartment List, loves Chipotle more than most things. So he decided to do an experiment to try to figure out how to get the most food from one order without raising the price.
"It’s basically a universal truth that the only thing better than Chipotle is…more Chipotle," he wrote. "I’m no religious scholar, but I’m pretty sure heaven is just one big Chipotle restaurant where the guac and chips are ALWAYS free and hell is just some Taco Bell."
Chipotle hacks have been documented before, but Grosz's hack uses ~science~.
The Pittsburgh resident wrote that he took his "geeky love of data and my black hole of a belly to Chipotle for several days," where he ordered five burritos each day for a total of 35.
His methodology was pretty simple: After ordering, he then separated and weighed the ingredients (he had to leave out some of the most delicious ones, sour cream and guac, so it wouldn't be a ridiculous mess to measure), made tiny adjustments to the way he ordered each ingredient, weighed the differences, and developed a hack for each.
To get the results, he combined all the top methods for the best way to get the most monstrous burrito.
Grosz told BuzzFeed he was shocked by the result: "When I tested all the methods at once, it far surpassed our most optimistic expectations! I thought I might get a 50% improvement, but 86% is just crazy," he said.
Here's the best method he found: First, get a burrito bowl instead of just a burrito, which will snag you 15% more food.
Then, you can order a tortilla on the side FO' FREE (and sometimes two).
Grosz writes, "Ask for the tortillas at the end, when the staff just wants you to go away."
You can then use the tortilla to wrap up the burrito yourself (it may seem daunting, but you can do it!).
Asking for both kinds of rice got Grosz 93% more rice. Mmmm, rice.
Asking for both beans also led to an average of 92% more beans.
Then, ask for half of one meat and half of another. On average you'll get 54% more meat.
Note: You'll be charged for the more expensive of the two.
Don't forget the oft-overlooked corn and fajita veggies!
"Doing all the tricks together (you’ll have to double-wrap the burrito yourself) gets you a giant burrito that weighs almost 32 ounces, at no additional cost," Grosz wrote.
Here's how each ingredient changes the weight.
The final burrito weighed 86% more (!) than the control burrito.
But after all of that deliciousness, Grosz said he needed a little bit of a burrito break.
"I didn’t eat many of the 35 experimental burritos (those went to the office), but seeing them every day and dissecting their innards kind of turned me off from eating Chipotle for a few days," he said.