26. Someone get the Unsolved guys on the case.
Anxiety is literally just conspiracy theories about yourself
25. Every day of my life.
im VERY laid back. i only care about 2 things: every person on earth & their opinion of me the crushing psychological weight of being alive
24. "I'm doing great!"
23. TBH I still do this.
In elementary school when we would have read out loud to the class from the textbook I would literally count the kids in front of me and figure out what section I was reading so I could practice it before it got to my turn & I think that’s where my anxiety started.
22. Anxiety is like going on a constant road trip into your own insecurities.
BRAIN: hey whachya doin ME: nothing just relaxing BRAIN: would u like to think about all of ur failures ME: what no BRAIN: and away we go
21. That was easy.
20. Any Scorpios here? 👀
How is my therapist going to look me in the eye and tell me my commitment issues stem from trauma and not my zodiac sign
19. Take a look around! We're open 24/7.
Me showing my therapist my inner demons for the first time.
18. Here we go again.
anxiety: oh no me: oh god what is it anxiety: you forgot me: forgot what anxiety: the thing you forgot me: but WHICH THING anxiety: all of them me: ... anxiety: you're gonna get yelled at
17. Wow that's so sweet of you.
brain: here's a good memory with someone who ended up really hurting you me: why did you bring me this brain: just because
16. Why am I crying in the club rn?
my neck my back ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨ ✨my anxiety attack✨ ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
15. TIL coffee makes anxiety worse. Probably still going to drink 4 cups a day. 😬
coffee is fun because it wakes me up but ALSO it gives my anxiety the energy it needs to question every text i've ever sent and how i probably fucked the conversation all the way up
14. *Googles how much money should I have in my 401K by the time I'm 30*
13. You would be amazed how far my brain can flex.
12. I'm rubber and you're glue, please hold me.
Sticks and stones may break my bones Words will also hurt me Compliments make me uncomfortable I have social anxiety I'm a wreck Just go
11. Reads WebMD once.
Me: Goodnight. Brain: Pssst. Me: What? Brain: What disease do you think we have?
10. When is Coachella? I need to know when to spend the week off Instagram.
9. Did I pay for this jacket?
Anxiety is knowing you didn’t steal anything and you’re still nervous the metal dectors are going to go off
8. Sometimes talking is hazardous to your health.
my anxiety every time i open my mouth to speak
7. This stress-relief tea doesn't seem to be working.
[on the couch having tea] Me: this is nice. Anxiety: SUSPICIOUSLY NICE.
6. Can we reverse evolution?
5. Now seems like a great time for a meltdown.
Logic: "Just apologize and explain yourself and everything will be alright." Anxiety: "LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!"
4. Does my therapist like me?
My therapist: Me (to myself): This is great. I’m going to get a good grade in therapy, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve,
3. *wheezes*
2. So when can I start?
Interviewer: would you call yourself a hard worker? Me: absolutely. I make almost everything harder than it has to be.
1. Are you there, God? It's me, anxiety.
[meeting god at the pearly gates] r u mad at me lol
It's great to be able to laugh at yourself, but if these jokes hit a little too close to home and you could use some help, here are some mental health resources:
*Read more about understanding and taking care of anxiety.
*Learn about finding a therapist.
*Check out some self-care tips for dealing with anxiety.
My therapist taught me to interrupt my anxious thinking with thoughts like: "What if things work out" and "What if all my hard work pays off?" So, I'm passing that onto you wherever you are, whatever you're leaving, or whomever you're becoming.