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    Posted on May 7, 2013

    New iPhone App Finds Nearest Pizza, Understands Life

    Marry me, Pizza Compass.

    Pizza Compass is a new iPhone app that does one very important thing: Finds the pizza closest to you and points you toward it.

    All you need to do is open the app and walk in the direction the spinning compass/slice points. You can rotate the slice to get the closest place in any direction, swipe to find more options if you're not sold, and tap to see a map, photos or more info about a particular pizza place (intel sourced from Foursquare).

    I will gladly (gleefully, even!) pay 99 cents for this app, because it understands a few Key Truths of Human Nature:

    1. When I want pizza, I ONLY want pizza.

    Chill out, sandwiches, I'll eat you some other time.

    2. By the time I really need pizza, I'll probably be too drunk and/or hangry to type in any words to find it.

    Thumbs are hard to use sometimes.

    3. I will buy anything a weird dude in a suit holding a piece of pizza tells me to. / Via

    According to Gizmodo's sleuthing, the dude in Pizza Compass's hilarious promo video is a random Craigslist-sourced actor name Gary Ray. Gary, I salute you.

    Pizza Compass

    You can download the app here and find more info on "the most important app ever made" on their website.

    Heartfelt thanks to Icky Ricky for bringing this to our attention.