Have you ever looked down at your bagel, smeared with quietly dignified cream cheese, maybe topped off with a little bit of lox or onion, and wished that it could offer you...more? Like, for instance, a bunch of Doritos?
Here's a beautiful thing to consider: No one is stopping from you from putting all kinds of insane junk on your bagel. It's YOUR bagel. You can do WHATEVER YOU WANT.