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Posted on Nov 25, 2014

Is Your Thanksgiving Dinner Normal?

Take this poll and tell us if your cran is canned.

  1. What time do you usually start eating Thanksgiving dinner?

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What time do you usually start eating Thanksgiving dinner?
  1.  
    vote votes
    If it's later than noon, we're behind schedule.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Sometime around mid-afternoon.
  3.  
    vote votes
    Early evening — 5 or 6 p.m.
  4.  
    vote votes
    Regular dinnertime.
  1. How much do you eat during the day leading up to dinner?

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How much do you eat during the day leading up to dinner?
  1.  
    vote votes
    NOTHING. Must devote 100% system capacity to Thanksgiving.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Just breakfast, no lunch.
  3.  
    vote votes
    I eat...normally?
  4.  
    vote votes
    Eat extra to EXPAND my stomach for dinner, you amateur.
  1. Do you believe in eating appetizers before dinner?

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Do you believe in eating appetizers before dinner?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Better not to, that space is reserved for mashed potatoes.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Of course, people need SOMETHING to keep them from perpetrating violence.
  1. Does salad have a place on the Thanksgiving table?

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Does salad have a place on the Thanksgiving table?
  1.  
    vote votes
    NO LEAVES ALLOWED.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Sure, whatever.
  3.  
    vote votes
    It's mandatory! Gotta have some roughage to keep everything else moving.
  1. What is your chosen side carb?

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What is your chosen side carb?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Dinner rolls, bro.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Biscuits, baby.
  3.  
    vote votes
    Cornbread, compadre.
  4.  
    vote votes
    Some other kind of alt carb.
  5.  
    vote votes
    None, side carbs are a useless distraction.
  1. To baste the turkey or not to baste?

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To baste the turkey or not to baste?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Baste all day, baste all night.
  2.  
    vote votes
    You know that doesn't actually do anything, right?
  1. Do you call it "stuffing" or "dressing"?

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Do you call it "stuffing" or "dressing"?
  1.  
    vote votes
    It's stuffing, duh.
  2.  
    vote votes
    It's definitely dressing.
  1. Whatever you call it, what do you make it with?

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Whatever you call it, what do you make it with?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Regular bread.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Cornbread!
  3.  
    vote votes
    Something even more exotic.
  1. What's your plate-attack strat?

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What's your plate-attack strat?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Eat one thing at a time, saving the best for last.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Eat the best thing first in case you run out of stomach space.
  3.  
    vote votes
    Keep food separate but take bites from everything in turn.
  4.  
    vote votes
    Mix everything together. FREE-FOR-ALL.
  1. Which kind of mashed potatoes is your true potato love?

    You can learn how to make ALL of them here!

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Which kind of mashed potatoes is your true potato love?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Fluffy mountain.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Creamy & swirly.
  3.  
    vote votes
    Cheesy & tangy.
  4.  
    vote votes
    Garlicky smashed.
  1. What's your Take on turkey?

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What's your Take on turkey?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Turkey RULES and I wish we could eat it all year.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Sometime's it's kinda dry, but whatever, it's fine.
  3.  
    vote votes
    I would rather eat anything else in the world, tbh.
  1. At what point of fullness do you stop eating?

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At what point of fullness do you stop eating?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Normal full. I've learned to pace myself.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Unbutton-my-pants full.
  3.  
    vote votes
    Can't-feel-my-legs full.
  4.  
    vote votes
    Dead.
  1. How many pies is the correct number of pies?

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How many pies is the correct number of pies?
  1.  
    vote votes
    1 pie.
  2.  
    vote votes
    2 pies.
  3.  
    vote votes
    3 pies.
  4.  
    vote votes
    7 pies.
  5.  
    vote votes
    69 pies.
  6.  
    vote votes
    420 pies.

Okay, now let's finish this with a SNAP DECISION ROUND!

  1. Marshmallows or pecan stuff on your sweet potatoes?

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Marshmallows or pecan stuff on your sweet potatoes?
  1.  
    vote votes
    MARSHMALLOWS
  2.  
    vote votes
    PECAN STUFF
  1. Dark meat or white meat?

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Dark meat or white meat?
  1.  
    vote votes
    YOU UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF THE DARK SIDE
  2.  
    vote votes
    WALK TOWARD THE LIGHT
  1. Canned or cooked cranberry sauce?

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Canned or cooked cranberry sauce?
  1.  
    vote votes
    AIN'T CRAN IF IT AIN'T CANNED
  2.  
    vote votes
    THE FRESHER THE BETTER
  1. Pumpkin or pecan pie?

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Pumpkin or pecan pie?
  1.  
    vote votes
    GOURD BLESS PUMPKIN
  2.  
    vote votes
    PECAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THIS