1. Bruschetta
IT'S LIKE YOU THINK I - WANT - TINY PIECES OF TOMATO ALL OVER MY BODY
2. Pomegranates
THE 1/16TH OF THIS PLANT THAT'S ACTUALLY EDIBLE BREAKS YOUR TEETH, WHAT KIND OF ODDS ARE THOSE
3. Corn on the Cob
ISN'T THIS PHOTO PROOF ENOUGH
4. Caramel Apples
IF I WANTED CARAMEL IN MY NOSE I'D FILL MY NETI POT WITH IT
5. Hard Tacos
HOT GROUND MEAT MESS FROM HADES
6. Artichokes
HOW AM I EVEN SUPPOSED TO EAT THIS, ARE YOU SURE THIS ISN'T A REALLY MEAN JOKE
7. Sushi
I LOVE WHEN THE ROLL UNRAVELS AND THE SUSHI GUTS PLUNGE TO THEIR FISHY DEATH
NOT
8. Enormous Burgers
NOBODY ASKED FOR THIS
9. Soup Dumplings
MY TEARS FLOW LIKE THE SCALDING LIQUID INSIDE
10. Meatball Subs
GOOD FUN IF YOU ENJOY EATING FALLEN ORBS OF MEAT OFF THE FLOOR
11. Rice (with chopsticks)
IT'S LIKE TRYING TO PICK UP A BUNCH OF SPRINKLES WITH TWO TREE TRUNKS
12. Crabs
IF YOU'RE USNG A MALLET TO BUST OPEN YOUR FOOD MAYBE YOU SHOULD RECONSIDER YOUR CHOICES
13. Celery
TANGLED. MOUTH. SPLINTERS!
14. Pistachios
COOL, WHO NEEDS FINGERNAILS ANYWAY
15. Ciabatta Sandwiches
LOL, REMEMBER WHEN YOU COULD STILL FEEL THE ROOF OF YOUR MOUTH
16. Cupcakes
IF HERMIONE GRANGER CAN'T LOOK CUTE EATING IT WHAT HOPE DO YOU HAVE
17. Mangoes
COULD YOU BE A LITTLE SLIMIER, I'M NOT QUITE FRUSTRATED ENOUGH YET
18. Whole Fish
BELIEVE IT OR NOT THERE ARE THINGS I WOULD RATHER SWALLOW THAN TINY RAZOR-SHARP BONES
19. Crunchy Granola Bars
BRB, PLANTING SOME TREES IN THE SOLID FOOT OF GRANOLA MULCH ON MY CARPET
