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    Jul 16, 2013

    What You Imagine You'll Make For Dinner Vs. What You Actually Eat

    Pinterschmerzen (n.): The acute pain of realizing that your life looks nothing like Pinterest.

    Imagine you'll make: healthy grilled fish.

    Actually eat: frozen fish sticks.

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    With white stuff, mmmm.

    Imagine you'll make: fancy pasta with seafood.

    Actually eat: sad spaghetti with sauce from a jar.

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    One big glop, just how I like it.

    Imagine you'll make: gooey, crispy baked mac 'n' cheese.

    Actually eat: Easy Mac.

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    STEP OFF, YOU DON'T KNOW ME

    Imagine you'll make: fried rice with a perfect sunny-side-up egg.

    Actually eat: weird egg stuff.

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    Weird Egg Stuff is the official No. 1 food group of twentysomethings.

    Imagine you'll make: a beautiful pot of fresh vegetable soup.

    Actually eat: soup from a can.

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    Pro tip: Adding the can to the pot infuses extra aluminum flavor.

    Imagine you'll make: amazing fried chicken and fluffy biscuits.

    Actually eat: breaded lumps filled with a mysterious chicken-like substance.

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    Which came first, the patty or the nug?

    TRICK QUESTION. They were extruded at the same time and later formed by robots into meatshapes of differing size.

    Imagine you'll make: fancy rice salad.

    Actually eat: some rice you forgot you had in your fridge from last weekend.

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    If you add soy sauce, it's basically cooking.

    Imagine you'll make: delicious hand-made pizza with fresh veggies.

    Actually eat: box-shaped frozen pizza from a box.

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    It's not delivery; it's despair.

    Imagine you'll make: gorgeous ramen with homemade noodles.

    Actually eat: instant noodles out of a styrofoam cup.

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    The bright side is that it's a GREAT deal on your sodium intake for the day!

    Imagine you'll make: diet-friendly lettuce wraps.

    Actually eat: a burrito as large as a kitten.

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    What? I was hungry.

    Imagine you'll make: pretty little dumplings you folded with your own two hands.

    Actually eat: mediocre takeout from the place down the street.

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    AND YET: Is there such a thing as an un-delicious dumpling? There is not.

    Imagine you'll make: a lovely tuna niçoise salad.

    Actually eat: tuna straight from the can.

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    It counts as a meal if you put peppers next to it?

    Imagine you'll make: a glorious, bacon-filled plate of pasta carbonara.

    Actually eat: some pasta you microwaved with cheese on it.

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    All Hail Cheesy Pasta, Lord Of The Night, Ruler Of Drunks.

    Imagine you'll make: adorable individual frittatas.

    Actually eat: scrambled eggs with...stuff.

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    Shhhhh shhhhhhh don't worry just cover it with hot sauce shhhhh

    Imagine you'll make: crispy quesadillas filled with lots of good stuff.

    Actually eat: a tortilla with some Kraft singles on top.

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    Just please, please, unwrap them first. Please.

    Imagine you'll make: chicken skewers with yummy Thai peanut sauce.

    Actually eat: peanut butter from the jar.

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    WE MEET AGAIN, MY OLD FRIEND

    IN SUMMARY...

    Always imagine you'll make: real food.

    Always actually eat: cereal.

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    Because cereal will love you forever and never let you down.