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    Jul 16, 2013

    What You Imagine You'll Make For Dinner Vs. What You Actually Eat

    Pinterschmerzen (n.): The acute pain of realizing that your life looks nothing like Pinterest.

    Imagine you'll make: healthy grilled fish.

    Actually eat: frozen fish sticks.

    With white stuff, mmmm.

    Imagine you'll make: fancy pasta with seafood.

    Actually eat: sad spaghetti with sauce from a jar.

    One big glop, just how I like it.

    Imagine you'll make: gooey, crispy baked mac 'n' cheese.

    Actually eat: Easy Mac.


    Imagine you'll make: fried rice with a perfect sunny-side-up egg.

    Actually eat: weird egg stuff.

    Weird Egg Stuff is the official No. 1 food group of twentysomethings.

    Imagine you'll make: a beautiful pot of fresh vegetable soup.

    Actually eat: soup from a can.

    Pro tip: Adding the can to the pot infuses extra aluminum flavor.

    Imagine you'll make: amazing fried chicken and fluffy biscuits.

    Actually eat: breaded lumps filled with a mysterious chicken-like substance.

    Which came first, the patty or the nug?

    TRICK QUESTION. They were extruded at the same time and later formed by robots into meatshapes of differing size.

    Imagine you'll make: fancy rice salad.

    Actually eat: some rice you forgot you had in your fridge from last weekend.

    If you add soy sauce, it's basically cooking.

    Imagine you'll make: delicious hand-made pizza with fresh veggies.

    Actually eat: box-shaped frozen pizza from a box.

    It's not delivery; it's despair.

    Imagine you'll make: gorgeous ramen with homemade noodles.

    Actually eat: instant noodles out of a styrofoam cup.

    The bright side is that it's a GREAT deal on your sodium intake for the day!

    Imagine you'll make: diet-friendly lettuce wraps.

    Actually eat: a burrito as large as a kitten.

    What? I was hungry.

    Imagine you'll make: pretty little dumplings you folded with your own two hands.

    Actually eat: mediocre takeout from the place down the street.

    AND YET: Is there such a thing as an un-delicious dumpling? There is not.

    Imagine you'll make: a lovely tuna niçoise salad.

    Actually eat: tuna straight from the can.

    It counts as a meal if you put peppers next to it?

    Imagine you'll make: a glorious, bacon-filled plate of pasta carbonara.

    Actually eat: some pasta you microwaved with cheese on it.

    All Hail Cheesy Pasta, Lord Of The Night, Ruler Of Drunks.

    Imagine you'll make: adorable individual frittatas.

    Actually eat: scrambled eggs with...stuff.

    Shhhhh shhhhhhh don't worry just cover it with hot sauce shhhhh

    Imagine you'll make: crispy quesadillas filled with lots of good stuff.

    Actually eat: a tortilla with some Kraft singles on top.

    Just please, please, unwrap them first. Please.

    Imagine you'll make: chicken skewers with yummy Thai peanut sauce.

    Actually eat: peanut butter from the jar.



    Always imagine you'll make: real food.

    Always actually eat: cereal.

    Because cereal will love you forever and never let you down.