Here's How To Make A Totally Epic Thanksgiving With Fast Food
Nothing could be more truly American than transforming a bountiful array of tacos, nuggets, and curly fries into your holiday meal.
Thanksgiving is all about celebrating the spirit of America with friends and family. And what's more American than enormous quantities of fried food that someone else cooked for you? This year, give thanks by artfully assembling huge piles of fast food into a feast that will both thrill and disturb your loved ones.
Start things off with drinks and a low-key (yet sophisticated) appetizer.
What you'll need:
2 large cups of Mountain Dew Baja Blast from Taco Bell
What to do: Pour the soda into a fancy decanter (we used this one) or pitcher. (YOU GOT THIS).
What it tastes like: Exactly how you think a beverage that color would taste.
What you'll need:
2 large cups of Mountain Dew Baja Blast from Taco Bell
What to do: Pour the soda into a fancy decanter (we used this one) or pitcher. (YOU GOT THIS).
What it tastes like: Exactly how you think a beverage that color would taste.
What you'll need:
2 large cups of Mountain Dew Baja Blast from Taco Bell
What to do: Pour the soda into a fancy decanter (we used this one) or pitcher. (YOU GOT THIS).
What it tastes like: Exactly how you think a beverage that color would taste.
What you'll need:
3 of each flavor Doritos Locos Tacos (Cool Ranch, Nacho Cheese, and Fiery) from Taco Bell
6 boxes Doritos Loaded cheese triangles from 7-11
What to do: Scrape all the tacos' filling gunk into a bowl, getting as much sour cream off the shells as possible. Break each taco shell in two and bake at 350ºF until they are crispy, or at least not soggy. Meanwhile, stack the Loaded triangles (re-warmed in the oven, if needed) in a circular tower in the middle of a large, shallow bowl. Mix up the taco filling real good so that it's mushy and spoon it around the triangles to make a Dip Moat. When the shells are crispy, break them into chips and stick them into the dip around the the bowl. In a cute way.
What it tastes like: The filling inside Doritos Locos Tacos is actually pretty great and obviously pairs with the taco shells really well. Strangely, Loaded Doritos don't actually melt. They just get kind of soft, like a wet dish sponge.
What you'll need:
3 of each flavor Doritos Locos Tacos (Cool Ranch, Nacho Cheese, and Fiery) from Taco Bell
6 boxes Doritos Loaded cheese triangles from 7-11
What to do: Scrape all the tacos' filling gunk into a bowl, getting as much sour cream off the shells as possible. Break each taco shell in two and bake at 350ºF until they are crispy, or at least not soggy. Meanwhile, stack the Loaded triangles (re-warmed in the oven, if needed) in a circular tower in the middle of a large, shallow bowl. Mix up the taco filling real good so that it's mushy and spoon it around the triangles to make a Dip Moat. When the shells are crispy, break them into chips and stick them into the dip around the the bowl. In a cute way.
What it tastes like: The filling inside Doritos Locos Tacos is actually pretty great and obviously pairs with the taco shells really well. Strangely, Loaded Doritos don't actually melt. They just get kind of soft, like a wet dish sponge.
What you'll need:
3 of each flavor Doritos Locos Tacos (Cool Ranch, Nacho Cheese, and Fiery) from Taco Bell
6 boxes Doritos Loaded cheese triangles from 7-11
What to do: Scrape all the tacos' filling gunk into a bowl, getting as much sour cream off the shells as possible. Break each taco shell in two and bake at 350ºF until they are crispy, or at least not soggy. Meanwhile, stack the Loaded triangles (re-warmed in the oven, if needed) in a circular tower in the middle of a large, shallow bowl. Mix up the taco filling real good so that it's mushy and spoon it around the triangles to make a Dip Moat. When the shells are crispy, break them into chips and stick them into the dip around the the bowl. In a cute way.
What it tastes like: The filling inside Doritos Locos Tacos is actually pretty great and obviously pairs with the taco shells really well. Strangely, Loaded Doritos don't actually melt. They just get kind of soft, like a wet dish sponge.
Those nibbles will warm up the crowd for the grand centerpiece...
What you’ll need:
3 20-piece orders of Chicken McNuggets from McDonald's
3 orders of Chicken Selects from Arby's
2 fried chicken drumsticks and 2 wings from KFC
What to do: You have two options here: Either arrange all your nuggets and tenders over a non-food base (we used a styrofoam half dome and "glued" them on with mashed potatoes), or you can go the less gross route and just make a big, beautiful pile of nuggets in the middle of a large platter, and arrange the drumsticks and wings at the corners in appropriately turkey-esque fashion.
What it tastes like: Great, obviously. McDonald's, Arby's, and KFC all cook their chicken in slightly different spices, so the end result is a fun potpourri of different fried chickens.
What you’ll need:
3 20-piece orders of Chicken McNuggets from McDonald's
3 orders of Chicken Selects from Arby's
2 fried chicken drumsticks and 2 wings from KFC
What to do: You have two options here: Either arrange all your nuggets and tenders over a non-food base (we used a styrofoam half dome and "glued" them on with mashed potatoes), or you can go the less gross route and just make a big, beautiful pile of nuggets in the middle of a large platter, and arrange the drumsticks and wings at the corners in appropriately turkey-esque fashion.
What it tastes like: Great, obviously. McDonald's, Arby's, and KFC all cook their chicken in slightly different spices, so the end result is a fun potpourri of different fried chickens.
What you’ll need:
3 20-piece orders of Chicken McNuggets from McDonald's
3 orders of Chicken Selects from Arby's
2 fried chicken drumsticks and 2 wings from KFC
What to do: You have two options here: Either arrange all your nuggets and tenders over a non-food base (we used a styrofoam half dome and "glued" them on with mashed potatoes), or you can go the less gross route and just make a big, beautiful pile of nuggets in the middle of a large platter, and arrange the drumsticks and wings at the corners in appropriately turkey-esque fashion.
What it tastes like: Great, obviously. McDonald's, Arby's, and KFC all cook their chicken in slightly different spices, so the end result is a fun potpourri of different fried chickens.
You'll want some gravy to go with the bird, of course.
What you’ll need:
3 packets of fire sauce from Taco Bell
3 packets of hot sauce from Taco Bell
3 packets of mild sauce from Taco Bell
3 packets of salsa verde from Taco Bell
3 packets of ketchup from McDonald's
3 packets of tangy barbecue from McDonald's
3 packets of sweet 'n' sour from McDonald's
3 packets of honey mustard from McDonald's
3 packets of horsey sauce from Arby's
3 packets of hot sauce from KFC
1 8-oz container of gravy from KFC
What to do: This one's hard, so get ready: Open all the sauces, dump them into a bowl, mix thoroughly, and transfer to an elegant gravy boat (we used this one).
What it tastes like: Like the first drop on a huge roller coaster. You understand that what's about to happen is going to blow your mind, but the minute you actually drop, you realize that all the mental projections you had in your head about what was going to happen weren't nearly good enough. Try not to use too much, or you might ruin other condiments for yourself forever.
What you’ll need:
3 packets of fire sauce from Taco Bell
3 packets of hot sauce from Taco Bell
3 packets of mild sauce from Taco Bell
3 packets of salsa verde from Taco Bell
3 packets of ketchup from McDonald's
3 packets of tangy barbecue from McDonald's
3 packets of sweet 'n' sour from McDonald's
3 packets of honey mustard from McDonald's
3 packets of horsey sauce from Arby's
3 packets of hot sauce from KFC
1 8-oz container of gravy from KFC
What to do: This one's hard, so get ready: Open all the sauces, dump them into a bowl, mix thoroughly, and transfer to an elegant gravy boat (we used this one).
What it tastes like: Like the first drop on a huge roller coaster. You understand that what's about to happen is going to blow your mind, but the minute you actually drop, you realize that all the mental projections you had in your head about what was going to happen weren't nearly good enough. Try not to use too much, or you might ruin other condiments for yourself forever.
What you’ll need:
3 packets of fire sauce from Taco Bell
3 packets of hot sauce from Taco Bell
3 packets of mild sauce from Taco Bell
3 packets of salsa verde from Taco Bell
3 packets of ketchup from McDonald's
3 packets of tangy barbecue from McDonald's
3 packets of sweet 'n' sour from McDonald's
3 packets of honey mustard from McDonald's
3 packets of horsey sauce from Arby's
3 packets of hot sauce from KFC
1 8-oz container of gravy from KFC
What to do: This one's hard, so get ready: Open all the sauces, dump them into a bowl, mix thoroughly, and transfer to an elegant gravy boat (we used this one).
What it tastes like: Like the first drop on a huge roller coaster. You understand that what's about to happen is going to blow your mind, but the minute you actually drop, you realize that all the mental projections you had in your head about what was going to happen weren't nearly good enough. Try not to use too much, or you might ruin other condiments for yourself forever.
A festive, uh, "cranberry" sauce should pair nicely.
What you’ll need:
1 large Slurpee, any red flavor, from 7-11
2 packages apple slices from McDonald's
What to do: Chop up one package of apple slices into small chunks and mix well with Slurpee in a small bowl. Arrange remaining apple slices around the rim.
What it tastes like: Horrible. This was a terrible idea.
What you’ll need:
1 large Slurpee, any red flavor, from 7-11
2 packages apple slices from McDonald's
What to do: Chop up one package of apple slices into small chunks and mix well with Slurpee in a small bowl. Arrange remaining apple slices around the rim.
What it tastes like: Horrible. This was a terrible idea.
What you’ll need:
1 large Slurpee, any red flavor, from 7-11
2 packages apple slices from McDonald's
What to do: Chop up one package of apple slices into small chunks and mix well with Slurpee in a small bowl. Arrange remaining apple slices around the rim.
What it tastes like: Horrible. This was a terrible idea.
Everyone knows the sides are the best part of Thanksgiving. Potatoes are essential.
What you’ll need:
2 large orders of curly fries from Arby's
2 large orders of French fries from McDonald's
6 orders of hash browns from Dunkin' Donuts
2 large orders of mashed potatoes from KFC
What to do: Spread mashed potatoes evenly in a baking or serving dish. Pile curly fries and hash browns on top; arrange straight French fries around the outside.
What it tastes like: Strange. You'd think that these potatoes would go well together, but the spices clash a bit. Also, it's hard to eat. Probably best served in very, very small doses, with lots of Pilgrim Sauce.
What you’ll need:
2 large orders of curly fries from Arby's
2 large orders of French fries from McDonald's
6 orders of hash browns from Dunkin' Donuts
2 large orders of mashed potatoes from KFC
What to do: Spread mashed potatoes evenly in a baking or serving dish. Pile curly fries and hash browns on top; arrange straight French fries around the outside.
What it tastes like: Strange. You'd think that these potatoes would go well together, but the spices clash a bit. Also, it's hard to eat. Probably best served in very, very small doses, with lots of Pilgrim Sauce.
What you’ll need:
2 large orders of curly fries from Arby's
2 large orders of French fries from McDonald's
6 orders of hash browns from Dunkin' Donuts
2 large orders of mashed potatoes from KFC
What to do: Spread mashed potatoes evenly in a baking or serving dish. Pile curly fries and hash browns on top; arrange straight French fries around the outside.
What it tastes like: Strange. You'd think that these potatoes would go well together, but the spices clash a bit. Also, it's hard to eat. Probably best served in very, very small doses, with lots of Pilgrim Sauce.
Stuffing is also mandatory.
What you’ll need:
10 original sliders (no cheese) from White Castle
2 8-oz containers of chicken noodle soup from Subway
What to do: Take the pickles out of the sliders (unless you really love pickles) and chop the burgers into 1-inch chunks. Mix slider chunks in a large bowl with soup and transfer to a baking dish. Bake for about 20 minutes at 350ºF, or until heated through and crispy on top.
What it tastes like: After five minutes or longer off the grill, un-altered White Castle sliders smell like a diaper that something has died inside of. So it might be hard to believe that this actually tastes a lot like real stuffing — but it does. And it pairs nicely with the potatoes and "turkey."
What you’ll need:
10 original sliders (no cheese) from White Castle
2 8-oz containers of chicken noodle soup from Subway
What to do: Take the pickles out of the sliders (unless you really love pickles) and chop the burgers into 1-inch chunks. Mix slider chunks in a large bowl with soup and transfer to a baking dish. Bake for about 20 minutes at 350ºF, or until heated through and crispy on top.
What it tastes like: After five minutes or longer off the grill, un-altered White Castle sliders smell like a diaper that something has died inside of. So it might be hard to believe that this actually tastes a lot like real stuffing — but it does. And it pairs nicely with the potatoes and "turkey."
What you’ll need:
10 original sliders (no cheese) from White Castle
2 8-oz containers of chicken noodle soup from Subway
What to do: Take the pickles out of the sliders (unless you really love pickles) and chop the burgers into 1-inch chunks. Mix slider chunks in a large bowl with soup and transfer to a baking dish. Bake for about 20 minutes at 350ºF, or until heated through and crispy on top.
What it tastes like: After five minutes or longer off the grill, un-altered White Castle sliders smell like a diaper that something has died inside of. So it might be hard to believe that this actually tastes a lot like real stuffing — but it does. And it pairs nicely with the potatoes and "turkey."
Green beans are the perfect traditional Thanksgiving side.
What you’ll need:
4 large orders of green beans from KFC
2 8-oz. containers of golden broccoli and cheese soup from Subway
2 large orders of onion rings from Arby's
What to do: Strain the green beans to get rid of extra bean-water. Mix them with the soup in a large oven-safe casserole dish and arrange onion rings in a single layer on top. Bake for about 20 minutes at 350 degrees (you can do this alongside the stuffing), until beans are heated through and the onion rings are crispy and slightly browned.
What it tastes like: Much like the story of Icarus flying too close to the sun, this dish probably didn't need the onion rings.
What you’ll need:
4 large orders of green beans from KFC
2 8-oz. containers of golden broccoli and cheese soup from Subway
2 large orders of onion rings from Arby's
What to do: Strain the green beans to get rid of extra bean-water. Mix them with the soup in a large oven-safe casserole dish and arrange onion rings in a single layer on top. Bake for about 20 minutes at 350 degrees (you can do this alongside the stuffing), until beans are heated through and the onion rings are crispy and slightly browned.
What it tastes like: Much like the story of Icarus flying too close to the sun, this dish probably didn't need the onion rings.
What you’ll need:
4 large orders of green beans from KFC
2 8-oz. containers of golden broccoli and cheese soup from Subway
2 large orders of onion rings from Arby's
What to do: Strain the green beans to get rid of extra bean-water. Mix them with the soup in a large oven-safe casserole dish and arrange onion rings in a single layer on top. Bake for about 20 minutes at 350 degrees (you can do this alongside the stuffing), until beans are heated through and the onion rings are crispy and slightly browned.
What it tastes like: Much like the story of Icarus flying too close to the sun, this dish probably didn't need the onion rings.
Make sure everyone saves room for dessert, because there's going to be pie.
What you’ll need:
10 apple pies from McDonald's
1 regular Oreo McFlurry from McDonald's
What to do: Slice each pie in half diagonally and arrange in a wheel on a plate or in a pie dish. Top each serving with a small scoop of McFlurry.
What it tastes like: The McFlurry drizzles super well. Because it's a fast food ice cream product, it doesn't totally melt, it just gets kind of wet. The apples are great. If you can manage it, this is best eaten as the McFlurry cools down the hot pies.
What you’ll need:
10 apple pies from McDonald's
1 regular Oreo McFlurry from McDonald's
What to do: Slice each pie in half diagonally and arrange in a wheel on a plate or in a pie dish. Top each serving with a small scoop of McFlurry.
What it tastes like: The McFlurry drizzles super well. Because it's a fast food ice cream product, it doesn't totally melt, it just gets kind of wet. The apples are great. If you can manage it, this is best eaten as the McFlurry cools down the hot pies.
What you’ll need:
10 apple pies from McDonald's
1 regular Oreo McFlurry from McDonald's
What to do: Slice each pie in half diagonally and arrange in a wheel on a plate or in a pie dish. Top each serving with a small scoop of McFlurry.
What it tastes like: The McFlurry drizzles super well. Because it's a fast food ice cream product, it doesn't totally melt, it just gets kind of wet. The apples are great. If you can manage it, this is best eaten as the McFlurry cools down the hot pies.
And pumpkin... stuff.
What you'll need:
12 pumpkin cake doughnuts from Dunkin' Donuts
12 creme-filled pumpkin pie doughnuts from Dunkin' Donuts
1 box pumpkin munchkins from Dunkin' Donuts
1 large latte with milk, either pumpkin or pumpkin creme brulée flavor, from Dunkin' Donuts
3 orders of cinnamon twists from Taco Bell
What to do: Cut the full-size doughnuts in half and arrange all the baked goods in alternating layers, cut doughnut sides facing outward, across the trifle dish. Repeat the layers until the dish is full and then slowly pour the latté over the entire creation. Depending on the size of your container, you might not use all of the doughnuts. (A glass trifle dish like this would be ideal.)
What it tastes like: They say that too much of a good thing is a bad thing. Well, they're right. This seems like it would be great, but the end result has the consistency of mud or a wet trash bag.
What you'll need:
12 pumpkin cake doughnuts from Dunkin' Donuts
12 creme-filled pumpkin pie doughnuts from Dunkin' Donuts
1 box pumpkin munchkins from Dunkin' Donuts
1 large latte with milk, either pumpkin or pumpkin creme brulée flavor, from Dunkin' Donuts
3 orders of cinnamon twists from Taco Bell
What to do: Cut the full-size doughnuts in half and arrange all the baked goods in alternating layers, cut doughnut sides facing outward, across the trifle dish. Repeat the layers until the dish is full and then slowly pour the latté over the entire creation. Depending on the size of your container, you might not use all of the doughnuts. (A glass trifle dish like this would be ideal.)
What it tastes like: They say that too much of a good thing is a bad thing. Well, they're right. This seems like it would be great, but the end result has the consistency of mud or a wet trash bag.
What you'll need:
12 pumpkin cake doughnuts from Dunkin' Donuts
12 creme-filled pumpkin pie doughnuts from Dunkin' Donuts
1 box pumpkin munchkins from Dunkin' Donuts
1 large latte with milk, either pumpkin or pumpkin creme brulée flavor, from Dunkin' Donuts
3 orders of cinnamon twists from Taco Bell
What to do: Cut the full-size doughnuts in half and arrange all the baked goods in alternating layers, cut doughnut sides facing outward, across the trifle dish. Repeat the layers until the dish is full and then slowly pour the latté over the entire creation. Depending on the size of your container, you might not use all of the doughnuts. (A glass trifle dish like this would be ideal.)
What it tastes like: They say that too much of a good thing is a bad thing. Well, they're right. This seems like it would be great, but the end result has the consistency of mud or a wet trash bag.
Once all the dishes are ready, set the table and behold your FEAST:
Don't forget some festive autumnal accents to highlight the beautiful bird.
Before you eat, take a moment to be grateful for the vast bounty of low-cost, high-calorie fast food available to you, as an American!
Make sure each guest gets a little bit of every dish.
For extra flavor, fill a pepper grinder with finely crushed Doritos and season to taste.
Just make sure you save room for dessert!
The most beautiful part of Fast Food Thanksgiving is sharing it with your friends. They'll be so impressed!
Photos by Lauren Zaser. Styling by John Gara, Ryan Broderick, and Rachel Sanders. Graphics by Justine Zwiebel.
Products:
Presidio Gravy Boat by Williams Sonoma, Plymouth Turkey Platter by Williams-Sonoma, glass bowl by Whisk, Fluted Oval Baking Dishes by Whisk, Dorset Wine Decanter by Williams-Sonoma, Milady Flatware by Williams-Sonoma, Turkey Paisley Napkins by Williams-Sonoma, Madeira Teak Utility Board by Whisk.