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Jul 3, 2014

23 Shameless Ways To Get Drunk That Are Actually Brilliant

Necessity is the mother of some ingeniously trashy beverages.

1. Fill up your partly finished 40 with orange juice and call it a Brass Monkey.

If it has an official name, it must be legit.

2. Alternatively: Refill with Red Bull.

And there you've got something we like to call "The Good Shepherd." Good luck!

3. If you drink nothing but vodka with Emergen-C you will literally live forever.

Official "recipe" here.

4. There is truly no amount or type of liquor that's not at home in a 7-11 slurpee. Go nuts.

5. You need the High Shirley (grenadine + Maraschino cherries + Miller High Life) in your life.

It's the kind of thing where you're like, HOW could this taste good? And yet it does. Oh, it does. Instructions here.

6. Soak gummy bears in vodka. Then eat the gummy bears.

Or bourbon. Or literally anything that's around 80 proof.

7. Make adult slushie "juice bags" by freezing the booze + mixer of your choice.

Obviously, something blue is best.

8. When a party runs out of ice or mixers, just pour some whiskey into a cold beer.

9. Crystal Light powder + vodka + champagne (optional) is guaranteed to provide great results.

10. Spiking kosher grape juice with more vodka than you thought possible will yield the holiest of all beverages.

Why is this night different from all other nights? Because you won't be able to remember any of it.

11. Jesus Juice (red wine + Dr Pepper or cola) is also certified God-approved.

12. Four words: two-buck Chuck sangria.

Even if it's technically three-buck Chuck (sigh). Get the details here.

13. Also consider the time-honored combination of red wine and Sunkist.

14. Say hello to El Dew (Mountain Dew + the cheapest tequila you can find).

How could this possibly (not) be a bad idea?

15. The classic "Hop, Skip and Go Naked" (sometimes charmingly referred to as "Pink Panty Dropper") is a magical mixture of lemonade, cheap beer, and vodka.

Would you like a recipe? Here's a recipe.

16. The key to making Jäger bearable is finding the right mixer.

17. Extend the life of a box of Franzia by drinking half and then refilling it with Coke.

18. The Lunchbox (Amaretto, OJ, and cheap beer) looks like vom, but tastes better than you think it will.

Try it! it?

19. A healthy pour of Café Patron in your coffee is the perfect day-drinking solution.

Trust me.

20. And you have to admit, this sounds pretty good:

21. If you don't think vodka goes with Gatorade, you're not living your best life.

Otherwise known as Fade-orade.

22. You can even take it to the next level with a little Red Bull.

Here's how. Good luck.

23. And always remember: Just because something is made for children does NOT mean you can't use it to get your booze on.