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    The Martini Glass Is A Crime Against Alcohol

    People, we invented other types of glasses FOR A REASON.

    You know what this is, right?

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    No, it's not a trick question. It's a martini glass! You know, to put martinis in.

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    But here's the thing.

    When it comes to containing liquid, which is, you know, literally the one job of a drinking glass...

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    Martini glasses are GARBAGE.

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    Trying to move from one point in space to another while you're holding a drink in a martini glass is like trying to carry a gallon of water on a dinner plate.

    And the shape of the glass could not be any less helpful in terms of conveying beverages to your mouth.

    And who designed this so that it has an enormous, wide cone on top of a teeny little base? They're literally impossible to NOT knock over.

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    But you know what's worst of all? Sometimes bartenders give you drink that should come in normal glasses in SURPRISE MARTINI GLASSES.

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    In which case this is the correct reaction:

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    The uselessness of these glasses is universally acknowledged, to the point that someone actually felt a need to create and market a spill-proof martini glass.

    But, in case you forgot, we ALREADY HAVE a vast array of other drinking vessels to choose from.

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    Glasses, for instance, with actual bottoms! And sides!

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    The answer is clear: We must use only real glasses and never, ever, EVER allow martini glasses to be used again.

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