4. Build a PB&J 2.0: Six spreads create NINE different, glorious flavor zones.
Rows, top to bottom: strawberry preserves, honey, marshmallow fluff.
Columns, left to right: crunchy peanut butter, Nutella, creamy peanut butter.
Witchery. This person has the best dad in the world.
5. Make DIY Uncrustables.
Added bonus of being composed of actual bread, peanut butter, etc, instead of inscrutable chemical compounds and trans fats. Instructions here — you can either buy a fancy little press to form the pockers or just use a cup turned upside down (like a cookie cutter).