When you're planning a wedding, people LOOOOOOOOVE to tell you how to do it "right." So here are 71 things that are totally ~right~ — as long as they are right for you and your person.
1. Get engaged without a proposal.
2. Get engaged without a ring.
3. Have a big-ass public proposal.
4. And a big-ass ring (provided y'all can afford it).
5. Or a non-diamond ring.
6. If you’re a straight woman, propose to a man.
7. And give him an engagement ring.
8. Post a photo of your engagement ring on Facebook and Instagram.
9. Or don't post a photo of your engagement ring on Facebook and Instagram. The world will keep spinning.
10. Skip choosing "wedding colors."
11. Delay starting wedding planning for a few weeks or even months because you're just enjoying being engaged.
12. Have a tiny guest list.
13. Have a destination wedding, because you know that a wedding invitation isn't a jury summons and you don't expect everyone to come.
14. Get married on a holiday weekend. (See also #13.)
15. Get married on whatever day of the week makes the most sense for you.
16. Have a brunch wedding.
17. Set and stick to a wedding budget that actually allows you to sleep at night.
18. Accept money from your families if they have it/offer it.
19. Keep toxic people off your guest list, even if those people are your family members.
20. Invite your entire extended family and all your childhood friends.
21. Feel comfortable not inviting people who invited you to their wedding because you actually don't really know/don't like/can't afford to invite them.
22. Have bridesmen and groomsmaids.
23. Or a bridal party with colorful hair and tattoos.
24. Or don't have a bridal party at all.
25. Have a themed wedding.
26. DIY your flowers.
27. Use artificial flowers.
28. Say "eff it" and skip the flowers entirely.
29. Wear a colorful wedding dress.
30. Or a black one.
31. Or a short one.
32. Get married in pants.
33. With short hair.
34. Refuse to go on a pre-wedding diet.
35. Have a wedding shower.
36. Don't have a wedding shower at all, if the idea makes you too uncomfortable.
37. Don't have a bachelor/bachelorette party.
38. Have a nontraditional bachelor/bachelorette party.
39. Wear dick hats or sip from vagina straws with abandon if that's your thang.
40. Register for gifts.
41. Register for a honeymoon.
42. Register for something else entirely.
43. Don't register at all.
44. Get married someplace other than a church.
45. By someone who isn't a religious leader.
46. Invite kids.
47. Don't invite kids.
48. Walk down the aisle to your favorite rock song.
49. Have someone other than your dad walk you down the aisle.
51. Exchange something other than wedding rings.
52. Or skip that part entirely, because your engagement rings/gifts work for you.
53. Choose wedding readings that you connect with, even if they aren’t “traditional” ones.
54. Have a meat-free or vegan menu because that's in line with your belief system.
55. Have a dry wedding. (Though your guests will probably appreciate if you spread the word that that's the case in advance.)
56. Serve something other than wedding cake for dessert.
57. Serve only cake and punch at your reception.
58. Make your own wedding cake.
59. Serve BBQ.
60. On paper plates.
61. (COME AT ME, HATERS.)
62. (JK, DON'T, I'M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR YOUR JUDGMENTAL SHIT TODAY OR ANY DAY.)
63. Do something other than a traditional first dance.
64. Skip the bouquet toss and garter toss.
65. Let your tattoos show.
66. Remember that people don't have to ~like~ your wedding.
67. Set boundaries with loved ones who are insisting you do something at your wedding that you are deeply uncomfortable with.
68. Set boundaries with loved ones who are insisting on being involved in a way that you and your partner don't want.
69. Really, just setting boundaries with loved ones. It's one of the most challenging parts of wedding planning, but it's important and worthwhile.
70. Get married at city hall.