Which College Students Want Threesomes The Most?

I talked to the renowned sex columnist Dan Savage about library sex at Cornell, virgins at UC Irvine, and how college guys’ dicks are “like Tinkerbell.”

Savage recently toured universities for his new show Savage U, in which he gave sex advice to students at campuses around the country. The show, which wrapped in June, gives insight into the sexual woes of college kids, and shows how vastly different colleges can be when it comes to sex.

1. Ohio State

The stadium at Ohio State.

The student body

“Women have an attitude and look in the Midwest that on the coasts would flag as lesbian. Trash-talking, beer-swilling, football-watching — but these women are all straight. You know, like my aunts from the Midwest. They will chew your fucking dick off.”

The sexual attitude

“Varsity-level. These were questions from people who were well into explorations of their sex lives: How do I talk my girlfriend into having a three way? How do you tie someone up without causing them to lose a limb?”

The downsides

“There was a lot of double-standard, slut-shaming at Ohio State. Everybody wanted the girls to go to bed with them but then everybody judged and shamed the girls who did.

“One of the questions we started asking at Ohio State was ‘would you date one of the girls you hooked up with?’ And a lot of the guys said no. ‘She’s not girlfriend material.’ But many relationships start with sleazy beginnings. If you go into those encounters, pre-judging the person who is willing to fuck you as ‘not relationship material’ just because they are fucking you, there is something wrong with the way you are choosing your sex partners. I don’t think we should have sex with people we hold in contempt.”

2. UC Irvine

UC Irvine.

The student body

“A lot of these kids are first gen. Some grew up as Americans, marinating in the mainstream culture but with parents who are still bound to the traditions of their country’s origin. There is conflict where they want to be American teenagers but they don’t want their parents to flip out. They also don’t want to negate their family’s culture.”

The sexual attitude

“This is where I got virgin questions. Questions like, ‘how do I ask a girl out?’ That came up nowhere else. ‘How do I tell a guy that I think he’s cute?’”

The downsides

“There were interesting cross currents racially — racial conceptions that people were making about each other. It did come up that Asian girls wanted to date white guys and Asian guys wanted to date the Asian girls, who didn’t want to date them, and the black girls said the Asian guys wouldn’t date them.[…]

“We talked to an Asian guy who thought no girl would date him because of the stereotypes surrounding Asian guys both physically and emotionally. But then we talked to Asian guys who were getting tons of pussy! So we had to tell him to stop blaming his race on lack of romantic success — he needed to show a little self-confidence.”

3. Tulane

Tulane’s campus.

The student body

“I expected it to be a southern school and everyone I met was from New Jersey and Illinois and Canada. It is a school of people from the north partying in the south.”

The sexual attitude

“There were a lot of questions about closeted guys, guys on the downlow. And of course at all the party schools there was ‘how do I talk my girlfriend into having a three way.’”

The downsides

“I noticed the guys were much more body-conscious than at other schools. The gym was packed with straight boys pumping to go out at the club later that night. I’m like, I know what that is like. That is what gay men were doing in the 80’s. There is a male beauty ideal and there is some oppression that comes with that.”

4. Cornell

Students cross a bridge on Cornell’s campus.

The student body

“Cornell was the kinkiest. People got the things that came out of my mouth at Cornell. Like I’d throw out ‘water sports’ and at Cornell it was: ‘Ah-haha! Yes. Some people like to pee on each other!’”

The sexual attitude

“People at Cornell don’t want relationships because they don’t have time. But they want to have sex because they are 19 and horny.

“I saw a lot of ‘friends with benefits’ arrangements. And people were freaked about emotions intruding. Everyone asked ‘how do you have a friends with benefits without entering into a relationship?’ […]

“One thing that came out at a bunch of schools was fucking at the library. At Cornell there was a list of things you have to do before you graduate and one of them was fuck in the library. University of Maryland, UIC, Tulane were like this too. No one studies in the library anymore because everyone has Google and laptops — you can study in your room. What the library is now for is when your roommate won’t leave and you wanna fuck. And its empty because nobody goes there! When I was in college only the gay closet cases would cruise the library, now its all straight people.”

The downsides

“Someone asked if it was okay to masturbate about someone without their consent. Like, could you think about someone while jerking off if you didn’t get their permission first? That was such a Women’s Studies Ivy League concern. I mean yeah! You can! Actually it would be creepy and bad to ask. That is not okay.”

5. Auburn


An Auburn University entrance.

The student body

“One of the things I thought was interesting at Auburn was that we talked about the sex objectification of women and how beauty standards harm women — and they do. This was prevalent here. But then surprisingly this was also one of the schools where the guys had these strong male beauty standards to adhere to as well — they were all perfectly groomed and working out.”

The sexual attitude

“Cornell got the watersports joke but when I told that one at Auburn it was like the air had been sucked out of the room. There was nearly a riot. Like it had rarely occurred to anyone this was possible.

“[There was] more slut-shaming. And girls perpetuated that too. People in college sometimes get hung up on morality. The gay boys aren’t out yet. Guys who are into bigger girls are dating twigs.

Too many kids in college are having sex they don’t want with people they are not attracted to. Kids in college are not fucking the person they want to be fucking but the person their friends would be jealous of.”

The downsides

“There were a lot of people at Auburn who wanted to be married by 21, 22.

“That freaked me out, especially coming from Cornell to Auburn. The girls at Cornell wanted to get married at 35. They will freeze an egg, they had goals and aspirations that didn’t include a guy. But the girls at Auburn wanted to get married before they graduated. I heard things like “I want to be at least engaged before I graduate so I’m not a loser!’”

6. Texas Tech

Texas Tech.


The student body

“We met cowboys in Texas — like, for-real cowboys. And some of them were really hot. But I’m an old fag, right? I don’t want to be the creeper on campus! There was one cowboy that we talked to and I just walked away chewing my hand. Oh my god he was so beautiful.”

The sexual attitude

“I have a bi friend from Lubbock, a refugee, an escapee, and he never had anything nice to say about this Texas town so I thought it would be the scariest one — but it was sort of great.

“We randomly went out with cameras on campus and started talking to people and the first two or three people we ran into were gay guys! I was like, ‘what is it like here to be gay? Is it terrible?’ And they all said it was a great place and people were very supportive and folks were tolerant.”

The downsides

“One cowboy had a girlfriend for a long time and when they broke up he was having performance problems with other girls. I explained that studies show women have an easier time becoming aroused with an unfamiliar partner and men have an easier time becoming aroused with a familiar one. Because in a way the dick is like Tinkerbell, someone’s got to be clapping and really believe.”

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