1. A dazzling hair clip that has the ability to turn a bad hair day into the best hair day in an instant.
2. A tie-dye lounge set your TikTok followers are gonna go wild for. Time to learn some trending dances in style.
3. A coffee dripper, because this is the year you become your own hip barista — lean into it.
4. A small modern tote for carrying all of your essentials — or carrying literally nothing and just being an integral part of your ensemble, I'll leave that up to you.
5. A concrete step vase, because your plant babies deserve to live in the cool, minimalist home you also crave.
6. A sheer T-shirt dress for anyone who needs to communicate externally that they've only been listening exclusively to Billie Eilish for the last two years.
7. A Topo Chico art print so everyone knows that YOU know what the true best seltzer is.
8. Bold floral wallpaper that shows you have confidence in your interior design choices — not to mention this will make for an undeniably gorgeous wall no matter what.
9. A Stila Stay All Day liquid eyeliner pen for absolutely nailing that cat eye — and not in vain. This formula lasts all day. Just ask my eyelids who have been covered in this stuff for seven years straight.
10. A pair of round, mirrored sunnies that say "That's right, I'm Miranda Bonnaroo, heiress to the Bonnaroo fortune, and I demand respect."
11. A tulle A-line skirt to channel Carrie Bradshaw in the most literal way possible.
12. A Fluide Universal Crayon so you can effortlessly put an effervescent shine into your normally hum-drum makeup look with one marvelous product. As a lazy-but-extra makeup wearer, I adore these.
13. A copper-coated bar set that will elevate your home bar from "half-empty bottle of Jäger stored horizontally in the freezer" to "craft cocktail bar where every drink is $17 and tbh worth every penny."
14. A subscription to Dia & Co so amazing clothes simply arrive at your door every month. "What's cooler than being cool?" Having a stylist hand-select incredible outfits and accessories just for you.
15. A string light curtain, because nobody has ever hung up string lights in their apartment and NOT gotten a million compliments from friends immediately.
16. A classic Levi's denim jacket to pop on over any and every outfit to give it the X-factor.
17. A classic Moleskine notebook for writing down all of your lofty thoughts the moment you have them. Can't let those nuggets of genius* escape! *[doodles of Spongebob]
18. A record player to signal to everyone that you care about the analog sound of recordings. Whether or not you actually do is another story, and one that in this situation doesn't really matter.
19. A pleated skirt in a number of bold patterns, because NOBODY can tell you not to wear a flamingo print skirt every day for the next six months.
20. A Porter Bowl if you want to flex while storing and reheating leftovers. Yes, your ceramic storage bowl is nicer than your regular bowls, what of it?
21. Chunky Chelsea boot heels so rock and roll, as soon as you don them, you'll instantly know every word of Joan Jett's discography. (Do not hold me accountable for this claim.)
22. Wide-legged pants that can only be worn with confidence. But I dare anyone to put on these high-waisted stunners and not feel like they own the room.
23. Fenty Mattemoiselle Plush Matte Lipstick in a bold shade curated by Rihanna herself. If i need to explain to you why that's as cool as it gets, I don't think even the lipstick can help you.
24. A pack of temporary hair color chalk so you can look super rad for the day without being known as "Green Haired Suzy" for the rest of your natural life.
25. A midcentury modern futon to stun all of your guests with your keen eye for design and seemingly unlimited budget...even though this killer piece is under $400 and from Amazon ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
26. Vans Old Skool skate shoes so even if your skating days are behind you, it'll at least appear as if you still rip. Scrape them against a curb a few times for maximum believability.
27. And of course, a copy of Infinite Jest, perfect for the shelf or for gluing to your hand until the end of time.
