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1.A combination broom and squeegee that wrangles hair from both carpet and hard surfaces. You know how you've had hair stuck to your feet for six years? Yeah, we're done with that.
2.A self-cleaning brush that pops matted hair off with the click of a button, turning your most dreaded task into a weirdly satisfying one.
3.A drain snake for evicting stubborn hair out of any drain with the help of 4,000 micro-hooks! Snaking is a much less daunting task when 4,000 of your new best friends are helping you.
4.Or a TubShroom to keep your hair from ever entering the drain in the first place. I'm absolutely honored to award you a trophy for being "Most Proactive."
5.A scalp-massaging shampoo brush that exfoliates the scalp to reduce dandruff and frees loose hair that would probably shed on your floor as soon as you stepped out of the shower. This thing's goal is the ensure nothing falls off that head of yours when it's done with it!
6.A classic Swiffer kit. Purchasing a Swiffer is the ultimate passing of the torch from your mother to you. She whisked up all your stray hairs for years...it's your turn now.
7.A soft headband to help keep your hair up and out of your face
— and most importantly, from falling into your sink — as you apply your makeup or do your skincare routine. Not to mention it's the cutest thing I've ever seen.
8.A bottle of organic castor oil made with rich vitamins and fatty-acids that'll help repair, grow, and maintain your hair. It can also be used for skin, eyelash, and nail health, but that's for a different post.
9.A cordless handheld vacuum that sucks up tricky hairs into an inescapable whirling vortex. You thought you'd be safe in the weird crevice between the toilet and the wall, hair? YOU WERE WRONG.
10.A pack of rip-resistant hair ties without the standard metal connector masochistic hair loves to gravitate towards, resulting in a shower of hairs gone too soon (pour one out).
11.A pack of lint rollers that could have once saved my boyfriend from the humiliation of his boss pulling one of my long, blonde hairs off of his black coat and saying "you don't happen to have a blonde girlfriend, do you?" Learn from our terrible mistakes.
12.A detangling brush for pacifying tangles and knots without the usual struggle and fallout.
13.A bottle of biotin shampoo or conditioner formulated with nutrient-rich botanicals like B5 zinc and coconut oil to nourish and stimulate your scalp, to aid in strengthening hair growth. Does your hair even lift, bro?
14.A pack of satin scrunchies to safeguard your hair from typical breakage in the night that turns your bed into a fuzzy mess.
15.An ILIFE V3s robotic vacuum that gathers wayward hairs while you're out of the house so you can return to a sparkling clean palace, instead of one overrun with your own hair in a history-making hair mutiny.
17.A satin pillowcase for rescuing your hair from the nightly tearing and matting your current cotton case is inflicting on your dainty head. You haven't heard? Cotton is basically sandpaper.
18.A repairing monoi hair mask by Carol's Daughter that contains conditioning monoi oil, strengthening bamboo water, and hydrolyzed silk to help rebuild damaged strands and dramatically reduce breakage.
19.An adorable shower cap for comfortably containing loose strands when it's not a wash day, saving your drain a little extra trouble.
20.A pack of laundry-saving wool dryer balls that help corral all the hair mixed into your dirty clothes, sheets, and towels into the lint trap, instead of into weird balls you have the distinct displeasure of removing from your sweaters.
Your hair all cool, collected, and firmly in your head.