Satisfyer Sex Toys Are Up To 40% Off On Amazon So Goodbye Santa, I'll Get My Own Toys This Year

Smash that "add to cart button" and get — well — smashing.

Satisfyer sex toys — to know them is to love them. From vibes to air pulsators and other ~sex-essories~, they just know what's up! Luckily, Satisfyer is offering up to 40% off of the goods on Amazon AS WE SPEAK! I know, it's shocking.

Logo

Here are some of the goodies you can snag right freaking now:

1. A Satisyfer Pro 2 Next Generation that's the true OG of air pulsation toys. Once you finally try it you'll understand why you've heard rave reviews for years, and probably be shouting one of your own from the rooftops!

amazon.com

This vibe is waterproof, rechargeable, and has 11 intensity settings.

Promising review: "Oh...my...god. How does one even describe it in words? It feels like someone very quickly playing the drums on the head of my clit. But, you know how often you can’t stimulate the very tip cause it’s too much sensation? Well, this toy fit around it in such a way that, it reached THAT spot, but wasn’t overwhelming. And the orgasm? Haaaaa! I own a Hitachi, which I’ve sworn by for years, so I was skeptical, but literally, it was like the peak point of orgasm for like a whole minute. I actually started yelling very deep how one might while they are pushing during labor. And I squirted a bit, which I haven’t done in years. Definitely not disappointed! Worth more than what I paid for it!" —Kaitlyn Ostrander

Price: $33.49 (originally $49.95)

2. A Satisfyer lay-on vibrator you can grind on like it's 2003 and "Hot in Here" is playing *or* hold in your hand for more pointed pleasure-seeking.

Amazon

The vibe is rechargeable, waterproof, and has five speeds and 10 rhythms!

Promising review: "Love how small yet powerful it is. I don't use all of the settings but there are a lot of options for everyone out there. Great by yourself or with a friend." —Heather Rowe

Price: $23.95 (originally $29.95)

3. A Satisfyer Pro Traveler that is personally one of my favorite toys! It's powerful, easy and discreet to travel with, and fits perfectly in the palm of your hand.

Amazon

It has 11 intensity settings, is waterproof, and best of all has a magnetic carrying case for easy travel. This also just makes it feel more sanitary to store. Like I can clean it, toss it in a drawer, and not worry about — idk — drawer germs getting on it.

The Traveler doesn't have stellar Amazon reviews, but I personally have it and love this vibrator so so much. I haven't had any problems with it breaking or being generally weird, so...make up your own mind, but I 100% recommend. And I'll leave you with this tip: USE IT WHILE LYING ON YOUR STOMACH!

Price: $31.95 (originally $35.94)

4. A Petting Hippo vibrator to reach your G-spot with absolute ease. The curved end along with the strong internal vibrations will take you for a ride you'll remember for a long, long time.

Satisfyer

The vibe is rechargeable, waterproof, and has six intensities and six patterns.

Promising review: "Great toy with a magnetic charger. The angle of the hippo's head is just right. The 'ears' are a little bit pointy considering this is something you insert but not really bothersome with all of the attention you're getting. I would describe the color as faded berry perhaps. I appreciate it not being Pepto Bismol pink like so many other toys." —Amazon Customer

Price: $39.95 (originally $49.95)

So what are you waiting for?! Smash that "add to cart button" and get — well — smashing! Don't wait for Santa to come. Shop the entire sale and treat yourself this season. Anyway, here's Hot Santa:

Netflix

The reviews in this post have been edited for length and clarity.

Looking for the perfect gift for any occasion? Check out all of BuzzFeed’s gift guides!

Allison Krausman / BuzzFeed