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1.A wood polish and conditioner with beeswax and orange oil to hide dings and scratches so you can finally cover up all the little scratches your beloved pup leaves on the floor from being TOO EXCITED to see you when you get home.
2.A user-friendly budget planner so you can a handle on all of your expenses. Yes, there are a lot of budgeting apps, but taking the time to sit and physically write things down will help you pay attention and make real change if you need it.
3.A bottle of Fanola purple shampoo to keep platinum hair from getting brassy. Speaking from experience, when you dye your hair white, it's really easy to tell yourself you'll go to the salon NEXT week for a touchup every week until you look like a little yellow duckling. Just get the shampoo.
4.A pack of Sugru for mending basically everything that's been banished to the junk drawer. Fix pesky fraying cords, mend toy dinosaur knees, and patch just about anything with this moldable glue that sets overnight into silicone rubber.
5.A sneaker cleaner to fool everyone into thinking you got a new pair of shoes when really you just revamped your notoriously dirty ones.
6.A grout pen so you can make your tile floor appear brand new. No more lying to yourself, thinking well, maybe the grout was actually black when we moved in.
7.An oven thermometer to take all the guesswork out of making sure your oven is all tuned up. Gone are the days of using "My oven runs hot!" as an excuse for dry chicken every single time you make chicken.
8.A Clorox toilet cleaning kit that — let's be honest — you probably should've gotten a long time ago. But hey, that's OK, better late than never!
9.A pack of Bottle Bright tablets so you can rescue all the moldy tumblers you've let sit in your car for...ummm....ever. It happens to all of us, but there's finally an easy solution!
10.A foot file for restoring your tootsies to a baby soft state. Your callouses didn't get made overnight, but they sure can be shaved off in one!
11.An earwax remover to quickly and safely remove all of your waxy buildup. Oh, you can't hear me because of your waxy ear canals? GET THIS PRODUCT, IT'LL HELP!
13.A watermark-removing cloth because of COURSE the first thing you did with your new wood table was put a sweaty glass down on it, and you've been in deep denial ever since.
14.A free-form planner so you can finally keep track of what day it is. This one not only lets you plan your days, but also state and work towards your personal goals. It's also dateless, so you can start any time during the year and skip a week or two if needed.
15.An itsy-bitsy toenail brace that fixes your ingrown and curved toenails, even if they've been like that for as long as you can remember. Pop on these little vices and let them get to work!
16.A rust stain-removing gel because even though "rust" is a chic color these days, it's probably for the best if your items are returned to their normal hue.
17.A combination broom and squeegee that wrangles hidden hair from carpets, no problem. You know how you've had hair stuck to your feet for six years? Yeah, we're done with that.
18.A drain snake to get your shower moving and grooving again after months of blocked drains and standing water. "Oh great, a shower/bath hybrid!" —NOBODY EVER
19.Or a TubShroom to prevent stray hairs from even THINKING about joining forces to become one, impenetrable, drain-blocking clump in the first place.
20.A pair of bedsheet suspenders for keeping your fitted sheets taut no matter how much you toss and turn. How many times have you woken up in the middle of the night tangled in elastic and just muttered to yourself, "This is fine." Even one time is too many!
23.A purse organizer with ELEVEN POCKETS to save your bag from the hurricane of receipts, lipsticks, and random eccentricities that have been swirling in it for the last decade.
24.An adorable mail organizer so you can stop "misplacing" all those pesky bills and trying to pretend like they don't exist. Sorry to report that that's not going to make them go away. I've tried!
25.A pair of charcoal deodorizers because YOU may have become desensitized to the gnarly smell of your loafers, but the rest of us sure haven't.
26.A shoe shining kit so you can get your leather shoes back in stomping and kicking shape. You got your Docs in 1998, they've been scuffed to hell since 1999, and 2019 is the year we get them back in action.
27.A bottle of pet earwax cleaner because you've been meaning to take your angel to the vet FOREVER to get their ears cleaned, but now you can just do it at home.
Great job finally acknowledging your problems and attempting to fix them! V proud of you.