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1. A New York Times crossword puzzle book for hours upon hours of nerdy entertainment for them *and* you. It'll be heaven to watch them put on their adorable reading glasses and dive in.
Promising review: "I love this thing! The print is nice and large, and the spiral binding is super nice. The paper is still newspaper-y which makes it feel like a newspaper crossword without having to lug around a newspaper. I use erasable pens, and they erase great. The boxes are plenty big enough for the letters and the crosswords are all appropriately 'Monday' difficulty. Great thing to have! Can’t wait to finish it and move on to Tuesday!" —Amazon Customer
Get it from Amazon for $9.48.
Think they'll want more of a challenge? Try the Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday versions of this book for increasing difficulty!
2. A corgi butt pillow — if they don't love and appreciate this, I'm honestly not sure you should be together?
3. A Nintendo controller light switch plate for pwning newbs, your partner's new turn of phrase for turning off the lights.
Get it from MaJoRCreationsCo on Etsy for $7.63.
4. A Tony Soprano magnet that'll make them think twice before opening the fridge and drinking OJ straight out of the carton. He's got his eye on you...
Get it from mothershipshop on Etsy for $4.
5. A Dundie award of their very own for being the best partner ever. Hopefully you will never end up throwing it at a $200 plasma screen TV...
Promising review: "Perfect gift for my husbands birthday gift to go along with his Dwight Shrute birthday card. He even dropped it when he was taking a picture with it and it survived the fall with not even a scratch on it." —A. Dovidio
Get it from Amazon for $16.49.
6. A set of emoji cookie cutters and baking sheets that's a fun, sneaky way to bribe them to bake their famous sugar cookies for you.
Get it from BuzzFeed’s Tasty collection at Walmart for $13.93.
7. Rude Hand Gestures of the World — a volume that will make them giggle and learn some skills they hopefully choose not to use.
Get it from Amazon for $11.77, Barnes and Noble for $12.37, Firebox for $12.99, or from a local bookseller through Indiebound.
8. An instant ramen ornament they can hang as an ode to the time back when you first met and shared many a $1 cup of the good stuff.
Get it from Urban Outfitters for $10.
9. A crocheted pair of smiley face mittens that are cute, cozy, and basically a portrait of the two of you.
10. A sloth back massager you might have to trust they don't end up feeling more attached to than you... Tbh this sloth is the guy she tells you not to worry about.
Get it from Firebox for $38.99.
11. A Good Advice Cupcake T-shirt that shows what they would probably be doing without you: sitting at a diner alone looking a little bit sad.
Get it from BuzzFeed's The Good Advice Cupcake collection for Hot Topic for $22.90+ (available in sizes S–3XL).
12. A library card pillow your book-loving sweetie is sure to appreciate. Hopefully it won't remind them of a stack of library books that have been sitting in the corner forever that they owe late fees on!
Get it from dirtsastudio on Etsy for $30 (available in 10 colors).
13. A Chewbacca Chia Pet that'll make them say "*Chewbacca noise*." That's a good thing!
Get it from Amazon for $19.99 (available in 14 characters).
14. A shower wine and beer holder so they can kick back and relax with a drink in a bubble bath without fearing that it's gonna slip off the slanted slide of the tub.
Promising review: "My husband came home one day from a long day at work and I heard him pop open a can of beer in the shower. When I asked him about it, he explained the 'shower beer.' After some research and a little help from his best friend, I found this amazing product on Amazon. Upon giving him the sipcaddy (just because), he exclaimed that I was the wife of the year/century/eon. I'd pay $13.95 one hundred times over to see his happy face and receive such positive words of affirmation. Plus, I can enjoy a shower beer/wine/sparkling water, too! Highly recommend this product for a spouse, friend, family member!" —Catherine Garza
Get it from Amazon for $13.95 (available in six colors).
15. A Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Man for the partner who can't help but scream "WATCH HIM DANCE!" every time you pass a giant one of these at a used car lot.
16. A baguette wrist rest so when they're putting in long hours at the office they can look at the carby goodness keeping their hands comfy and think of you.
Get it from Amazon for $11.59+ (available in two styles).
17. A Pokémon nano block set sure to make their heart Bulba-~soar~.
Get it from Urban Outfitters for $14 (available in three Pokémon).
18. A waterproof notepad for jotting down all the Great Big Thoughts they have in the shower and normally just yell out to you over the roar of the water.
19. A vintage-inspired Star Wars calendar, because we all know the best movies were the early ones, no contest.
Get it from Amazon for $17.99.
20. Custom stickers of your face (or your pet's face!) so they can bring you along with them wherever they go. On their water bottle, their phone case, their shirt, their notebook — there your glorious visage shall be.
Promising review: "To start off, I was actually a bit hesitant to buy these. It seemed like something that could be easy to make poorly. Once I received the stickers and looked at them, I wished I'd bought more. They are amazing. I can't believe how great they came out, even from a somewhat crappy quality Facebook photo. On top of that, my friend who I gave them to was over the moon in love and couldn't stop laughing and smiling. Definitely made my day. A+, will for sure buy again." —SquirrelG
Get 32 0.75" stickers from Amazon for $17.99.
21. A variety pack of Bazooka candies you'll have to cross your fingers they share with you. But hey, if they don't, it means you 100% picked exactly the right gift!
The set comes with six Rings Pops, four Baby Bottle Pops, four Juicy Drop Pops, and four Push Pops.
Get it from Amazon for $12.98.
22. A gamified version of We Rate Dogs, because pretty much the greatest thing that can happen to you in 2019 is your favorite Twitter account becoming a game.
If you've been living under a rock and haven't scrolled through the @dog_rates Twitter, do yourself a favor and get reading!
Promising review: "I love this game. It is easy to play, and the pictures are so cute! All the captions are hilarious as well." —Suzy
Get it from Amazon for $20.38.
23. A Bob's Burgers coloring book they can have fun playing around with while humming one of Linda Belcher's famous tunes.
Get it from Amazon for $14.01.
24. The Blockbuster Party Game so you can celebrate the memory of one of the greatest stores ever erected while enjoying some wholesome competitive fun.
To play, two teams first compete in a quick-fire buzzer battle to alternate naming as many movies in a category (think "Famous Trilogies") as possible. Next, teams draw movie cards and play pseudo-charades by acting out the film, making up a quote, describing them with just one word. This game is recommended for ages 12+ and requires two AA batteries for the buzzer.
Promising review: "This game is so much fun for the family! If you have ever watched a movie then you will like if not love this game. My family plays every time we get together!" —ConnieB
25. A pair of black and white cookie earrings that's all the fun of the real black and white cookies of their childhood without having to make the world's hardest decision: which side to eat first.
Get them from Alittleawesome on Etsy for $19.95.
26. A Schitt's Creek sweatshirt that ironically will do the opposite of making them say "ew."
Get it from ThatsBananasUS on Etsy for $18+ (available in sizes S–XXL and 14 colors).
27. A Mister Rogers magnetic dress up set they'll have a calm, peaceful time organizing. Don't forget to change his shoes every time you get home like in the show!
Hope your partner does a little happy dance after opening these gifts!
The reviews in this post have been edited for length and clarity.
Searching for some great Amazon finds? Check out some of our favorite cheap things to buy on Amazon, some of the weirdest things on Amazon you might actually want, or read through all the rest of our incredible Amazon product recommendations.
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