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1.A flexible drain snake that will remove *years* of built-up hair and gunk from any drain in your home. You'll even get a trophy for your brave efforts. Yes, the trophy is a three foot hair clog.
2.A pack of Bottle Bright tablets so it's not the end of the world every time you leave a tumbler in your car (for, ahem, six months). With these little tablets, what used to be the worst chore of all is the most satisfying thing you'll do all day.
3.An Angry Mama microwave cleaner that absolves you of all nasty microwave sins. This mama is begging you to zap some oily, bubbly lasagna, and she looks mad, so get to it.
4.A bottle of Barkeeper's Friend, a cleanser and polishing powder to shine your old pots, pans, and cooktop right up! Fry, scorch, and sear away — it's all the more reason to reach for Barkeeper's Friend again and again.
5.A set of three scrubbing drill brush attachments that will empower you to finally clean your nasty bathroom. Once you get a taste of how good it feels to drill away grime, you'll be waiting anxiously for mold and hard water stains to come back (but sorry, it will be a while).
6.A red wine stain remover because besides being the most heartbreaking spill, wine is notoriously the hardest stain to remove. Now you can spill with wild abandon and without fear, so gesticulate with that wine glass all you want — it's not the boss of you!
7.A Clorox toilet cleaning kit that — let's be honest — you probably should've gotten a long time ago. But hey, that's ok, better late than never!
8.A can of Resolve carpet cleaning foam to make you feel like a carpet cleaning superhero. Simply spray the foam into the carpet, let it dry, and vacuum it up along with all the evil dirt you've been tracking in for the past...forever. Another villain taken down by your cleaning prowess.
9.A water mark–removing cloth for removing those stubborn rings with mere swipes. Have fun putting down a wet glass and vanishing the ring over and over — it's your new, insufferable magic trick.
10.A jetted tub cleaner, because — *surprise* — those jet pipes are probably full of goo! With this cleanser, you can look forward to every relaxing bubble bath without fear of lurking mold. Guess you're gonna have to take a lot more baths now. What a shame.
11.A variety pack of Mr. Clean Magic Erasers that will make you feel invincible. No mess is too unruly for the true ~magic~ of these scrubbers. Go ahead and color on the walls. I encourage it.
12.A combination broom and squeegee to effortlessly remove hair from carpet. You and your pets can now work together to shed as much as possible in order to build a hairball SO big the before and after pics will break the internet.
14.An electronics cleaning brush so you can get in juuuust the right spot when cleaning your ports and keyboards. Ahhhh. Much better.
15.A rust stain–removing gel that'll have you pleading for Father Time to let the days fly by as quickly as possible. You need the satisfaction of returning your shower to its pristine, pre-rust condition again, but don't worry...it'll come.
16.A can of Easy-Off oven cleaner because the tastiest part of baking is actually the feeling you get after you clean a syrupy mess from the bottom of your oven.
17.A makeup brush shampoo so you can cosplay as a grown up and FINALLY clean your brushes. Trust me, once you see the results, you'll be caking on the blush just so you can give your precious brushes another bath.
18.A ceramic stovetop cleaning kit that's like the "Undo" button for cooktop errors. This high-maintenance appliance doesn't get to stress you out anymore.
19.A classic Swiffer kit your mom has sworn by for years — and for good reason! It makes cleaning hardwood and tile floors so easy, you may even find yourself dancing with it like you're in a dang commercial.
20.An all-purpose car cleaner for maintaining your vehicle's leather, vinyl, carpet, upholstery, plastic, and rubber. Go ahead and let your kids have that Slurpee fight they've been threatening for so long. No big deal with this cleaner as your copilot.
21.A pair of sweeper slippers you'll want to don 100% of the time you're at home. They keep your feet cozy AND clean up messes you don't want to bother with? Almost too good to be true.
22.An electric pressure washer so you can be the star of your own ~satisfying things~ video. The results you get with pressure washing will make you swell with pride and inspire you to pressure wash basically everything you own.
23.A dazzling diamond cleaning pen because polishing your luxurious jewelry is pretty much the poshest activity ever. Why wouldn't you want to do that everyday?
24.A stainless steel cleaner to get all of your gorgeous appliances back to the level of luster they deserve. Just keep the spray bottle handy in the kitchen for quick touch-ups whenever you want to give your kitchen a little love.
25.A microfiber blinds duster that is so specific and fun to use you'll be checking the blinds every day, hoping it's time to dust.
26.A Hoover vacuum. I finally got a real vacuum a few weeks ago and, no lie, my place became sentient, cried tears of joy, and thanked me for finally cleaning up all the mud, dirt, and salt I've ever tracked in.
You every time you get to use your new cleaning supplies: