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The 5 Phases Of Your First Year Living In NYC

You're living for the city...but also dying because of it.

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1. The Taylor Swift "Welcome To New York" Phase

NYCGo / Via

You’re just about to move. Your days are spent daydreaming about what it’ll be like when you arrive - a crowd of creative, passionate people surrounding you at all times. Wow. Look at all those cool friends just waiting to hang out with you. You’re going to have all of the friends. And what’s that? Oh man, your new friends are taking you on shopping spree for cute clothes. You’re going to wear ALL of the cute clothes.

2. The "New York, New York" from On The Town Phase

Mark S. Howard. / Via

You just arrived. Everything is new and shiny. How the hell did they get everything SO shiny!? You went to Times Square on the subway and you only got lost once! Look at you, New Yorker! You had $1 pizza for the first time. Only $1 for delicious NYC pizza!? Living in the city is going to be so economical!!

3. The "RENT" from RENT Phase


Okay, the new and shiny is starting to wear off. You’re starting to notice things you didn’t before (or maybe you did, but you were just ignoring them). Did you notice that it gets really cold here? And...there’s always a smell. WHAT is that smell? Also, it’s hard to make friends. And you are GREAT at making friends. You’re a great friend. What’s the deal!? And how is everything so expensive!? Nothing is that nice here. How is that possible!? You have a 5-floor walk up and 3 roommates, one of whom might secretly be a murderer and more than 50% of your paycheck is still going to rent.

4. The Gil Scott-Heron "New York is Killing Me" Phase


Why do you still live in New York? Everything is SO hard here. Things that used to be easy are 1,000 times more difficult. You have no food or clean clothes because you sold your soul and you live at work and have no time to buy groceries or do laundry. Your new favorite hobby is complaining about the subways. The subways are good ol’ reliable complaint that you can always keep in your pocket. Sometimes you feel like a complaint zombie, slowly limp-walking through life, feasting off the complaints of others. YES, LET’S COMPLAIN TOGETHER. Tell me how bad the L is. It’s giving me life. It’s the only thing giving me life.

5. The LCD Soundsystem "New York I Love You, But You're Bringing Me Down" Phase


New York has changed you. Your skin is thicker and you’re always tired. You kind of hate living here, but you can’t imagine living anywhere else in the world. You’ve been ruined by lady liberty, but you’re kind of okay with it. Sometimes you take the bridge home and look how pretty the twinkling lights are. You remember why you moved here. You remember that you did something that most are scared to do. Yeah, you feel pretty good about yourself and your life choices. Then, some dude on the street throws a bottle of pee at you and that perfect little moment is ruined, just like you.

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