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    54 Sheffield Sentences That Will Confuse The Fuck Out Of Everyone Else

    "This restaurant's crap." = Needs Hendos.

    1. "He's reyt nesh." β€” He has the audacity to wear a coat when it's snowing outside.

    2. "I spent the day out in the Peak District." β€” I drove to a pub with a nice view of Ladybower.

    3. "There's nowt so queer as folk." β€” I've walked past the queue at Corporation on a Saturday night and seen things I'll never forget.

    4. "That round were proper expensive." β€” I spent more than Β£10 on four drinks.

    5. "E's dead flash these days." β€” He spent more than Β£10 on four drinks and didn't flinch. Clearly been living in London too long, the posh git.

    6. "The students make Crookes a lively place to live." β€” I usually wake up with a traffic cone and two empty cans of lager on my doorstep, but by god it's affordable.

    7. "I live in Dore." β€” I am loaded.

    8. "I live on Manor Top." β€” Don't look at me like that; it's not that bad.

    9. "I live in Leeds." -β€”I have been excommunicated.

    10. "Sheffield's actually dead good for shopping." β€” Meadowhall can burn in hell, viva Devonshire Street.

    11. "I'll have a half, please." β€” I'm as embarrassed as you about this, but I'm on antibiotics/severely hungover/have a job interview in half an hour. But I will never, repeat never, give in to a soft drink. Clue's in the name. Soft lad.

    12. "Sheffield is basically the craft beer capital of the UK these days." β€” Sometimes I just really want a nice pint of mild.

    13. "Owl or Blade?" β€” Our pending friendship depends on this.

    14. "Stop being such a mardy arse." β€” Cheer up, love.

    15. "Na then, thee." β€” How the devil are you?

    16. "This pie's dead dry." β€” Needs Hendos.

    17. "This Bloody Mary isn't reyt spicy." β€” Needs Hendos.

    18. "This restaurant's crap." β€” Needs Hendos.

    19. "Your mam's a barmpot." β€” Your mother has suggested going to Fargate on Boxing Day for the sales.

    20. "Shurrup, ya daft apeth." β€” I love you, but you're drunk and talking nonsense.

    21. "Ge'ore." β€” No really, shut up.

    22. "Be reet." β€” Not my problem, mate.

    23. "I've just bought a mountain bike." β€” I'm becoming one of those Sheffield people.

    24. "Fancy coming to the Foundry after work?" β€” I want to fulfill another Sheffield stereotype. Bring on the ropes and crampons, I'll have buns of steel in no time.

    25. "We're going out on Ecclesall Road." β€” PAYDAY!

    26. "We're heading out down West Street." β€” I've got no coat, no inhibitions and no hope of remembering anything post 9pm.

    27. "We're hitting up Devonshire Street." β€” I want to find a guy with a beard/lass with horn-rimmed glasses.

    28. "We're drinking in Kelham Island." β€” I'm going to have eight pints of obscure ale and wake up with bowel movements that a caveman would be ashamed of.

    29. "Count yoursen lucky." β€” My life is a lot harder than yours and I'm about to detail exactly how and why in quite some detail.

    30. "Yeah I'm alright." β€” I'm having a wonderful day.

    31. "Chuffed to bits mate." β€” I feel really quite pleased with the way my life is going.

    32. "Aye, champion." β€” I am overwhelmed with joy. I imagine this is how it feels to win a Nobel prize and the lottery on the same day.

    33. "I'm on my way." β€” I left the house 45 minutes ago, but I'm on a bus and on Abbeydale Road, so who knows when I'll arrive?

    34. "Fancy a brew?" β€” Would you like a strongly-mashed cup of Yorkshire tea in lieu of me verbalising my warm feelings for you?

    35. "Have you et tea?" β€” I'm your mother and I love you, but I'd rather demonstrate that through a hot meal than with words.

    36. "Hiya, love." β€” Thanks for choosing my checkout.

    37. "Here you are, flower." β€” Here's your shopping.

    38. "Ta, duck." β€” And here's your change.

    39. "We've missed the last bus." β€” It is 10:30pm.

    40. "I used to train with Jessica Ennis." β€” There were people in my year that went to running club with Jessica Ennis.

    41. "Tramlines is the best time of the year." β€” I only like Tramlines when I'm observing it from someone's balcony with a toilet in close proximity.

    42. "Sheffield City Council." β€” The bastards that cut down all the trees and installed LED lampposts that give all the streets an eerie futuristic glow.

    43. "When's the next blue bin day?" β€” I don't think I can face having all these bottles on display outside the house for another fortnight.

    44. "All of these new coffee places make Sheffield feel really cosmopolitan." β€” Two pounds chuffin' fifty for a bloody latte?

    45. "The Hope Valley Line." β€” The most picturesque commute possible, with the least amount of reception.

    46. "Snake Pass." β€” Scratch that, this is the most picturesque commute possible. Even less reception.

    47. "I work at the university." β€” I came here to study 15 years ago and can't bring myself to leave.

    48. "I work at Meadowhall." β€” My Christmas commute makes me want to cry.

    49. "I work in steel." β€” I am a time traveller.

    50. "I love Sheffield in the winter." β€” I enjoy drinking in the Christmas market.

    51. "I love Sheffield in the summer." β€” I enjoy drinking in pub beer gardens.

    52. "I love Sheffield in the spring." β€” I enjoy drinking wine in the Botanical Gardens at the first hint of sunshine.

    53. "I love Sheffield in the Autumn." β€” I enjoy drinking in pubs with open fires and dogs.

    54. "Bugger off." β€” I love you.

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