24 Secrets People Who Work In Garden Centres Will Never Reveal
It's a job we've grown to love.
We know literally nothing about plants.
But we do know that there's a difference between ericaceous and potting compost.
It takes superhuman strength to carry a 35L sack of John Innes to someone's car.
And while we're on the topic of soil, sweeping it up is a thankless task.
There is no lonelier place on earth than the cut flower counter on Valentine's weekend.
But the things we can do with cellophane and coloured tissue paper will make you weep.
If you can't find us, we've probably made a den somewhere.
There's no fear like scanning and wrapping someone's ceramic water feature.
And we know how important it is that a poinsettia never feels so much as a hint of the chill winter wind.
We will judge your plant choices.
And we especially judge those of you who buy novelty wells to fill with plants.
We're as confused as you are about when we started selling so much Halloween stuff.
That said, we love getting our stores ready for Christmas.
We're endlessly frustrated by the fact that a standard carrier bag is just a bit too small for a six-plug pack of bedding plants.
Kids that poke the plants are the worst.
Scrap that. Hungover Sundays spent in the greenhouse are the worst.
In fact, arranging the seeds in alphabetical order is the best job to do hungover.
There is no joy like watering the outdoor plants on a hot summer day.
But untangling clematis when you're tasked with tidying up the climbers is a nightmare.
Customers will always walk away with way more gardening fleece than they requested.
But if you kill your plants, we can't help you.
In a moment of boredom, we will have definitely picked out a favourite pair of gardening gloves from the display.
There is a special place in hell reserved for people who leave their shopping trollies at the bottom of the car park.
But best of all, our friend's parents love us.
Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!