1. Re-creating the feeling of human affection by covering everything in gravy.
Me:
Mmm, warmth and happiness.
2. Using a Yorkshire pudding as a plate, therefore making plates useless.
Saves on the washing-up when you can just eat the tableware, dunnit?
3. Making massive savings on your leccy bill by only using the Big Light on special occasions.
4. Not bothering to remember anyone's name, 'cos you can just get away with calling them "love".
Just sunconsciously said 'thanks duck' to a female bus driver, I've been in yorkshire too long
Or duck, or pet, or sausage, or petal, or cock.
5. Buying flowers is a much easier task when you only buy white roses.
Red roses can sod off. NEXT.
6. Saving the need to prepare a packed lunch for school by simply surviving off chip naans from the neighbouring chippie.
Absolute monster of a chip naan
It's called carb-loading, duh.
7. Maximising your evenings by eating your tea at 5:30pm.
Even more time freed up to spend down t'pub.
8. Getting a head start on the world of work with an exhilarating day out at Eureka.
9. Avoiding ever really showing your true emotions by calling the people you actually have feelings for the most offensive terms you can.
British terms of endearment 1. Wally 2. Berk 3. Plonker 4. Daft sod 5. Idiot 6. Pillock 7. Plank 8.
I love thee, yer daft prick.
10. Making summer last forever by sitting outside the pub from the first warm day in March until roughly October.
11. Saving £1 on every night out by simply refusing to wear a coat.
That's, like, £50 over a year.
12. Making any meal 100% more palatable with the addition of just one ingredient.
13. Avoiding the need for small talk by simply using "alright" as a full conversation.
Yorkshire: where "alright" is a greeting, question and answer.
Alright. Alright? Alright.
14. Saving precious minutes on the weekly shop by only ever buying one type of tea.
15. Being able to use random farm animals as a legit excuse for being late.
Happy Yorkshire Day everyone. Here's a pic a friend of mine got just recently. #lambsontroad #growingupyorkshire
See also, tractors.
16. Taking your slippers round to your mate's house for a night in.
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable?
17. Enjoying a daily celebrity encounter by commuting on the Supertram in Sheffield.
At least there's less chance of Beany coming to an untimely end with this gig.
18. Making that pub experience last beyond chucking-out time with takeaway beer.
Because 11pm shouldn't mean you have to stop drinking.
19. Livening up everyday form-filling by living somewhere with a comedy name.
Yorkshire, home to Wetwang, Tickle Cock Bridge, Slack Bottom, Penistone, and Pump Riding.
20. Just completely omitting the word "the" from your vocabulary.
People parodying Yorkshire people always say t' for the. But that's wrong, we don't bother with the word at all #yorkshireproblems
There you go, that's one word you don't have to figure into your Twitter character count.
21. Negating the need to ever leave the county, let alone country, for a beach holiday.
Chuffin' glorious.
