Quixotic
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    • Quixotic

      Whether or not you’ll have to empty it in public really depends. It’s generally considered safe to leave cups in for up to 12 hours, so if your flow isn’t super heavy and you’re not out of the house for more than that, it’s often feasible to wait until you’re home. For me, not having to mess with period products when I’m at work/in public is actually one of the benefits of using a cup. But if you have a heavy flow, you may need to empty the cup before going home.

    • Quixotic

      That goes both ways, honestly. There are people who depend on the print book industry, but there are also people whose careers have been helped by the increased popularity and ease of ebooks. A lot of small presses make a lot of their money from ebooks, and authors who write novellas have an easier time selling their work now because it’s often not profitable to sell shorter works in print format. The romance genre also enjoyed a boost after the Kindle became big. So either way, you’re supporting the publishing industry. I think people should read what they want in the format that they most prefer.

    • Quixotic

      Eh, there’s some racism/race-based stereotyping involved in how people judge names, but calling this appropriation implies that 1. these particular names are being taken from the black community (not really. None of these names have any particular significance or popularity in the African American community that I’m aware of) and 2. “hipster” is seen as a good thing. Black people who give their kids unusual names are often stereotyped as being “ghetto.” White people who give their kids “hipster” names are often stereotyped as being the type of obnoxious helicopter parents who expect the world to revolve around their kids, think their kids are more unique and gifted than everyone else’s kids, and who brag about never feeding their kids sugar or gluten. Both of these are class-based stereotypes to a large degree (“Ghetto” names make people think of poorer communities and “hipster” parents are often assumed to be somewhat affluent), but both stereotypes are negative and giving your kid a name that’s spelled strangely is in no way appropriation.

    • Quixotic

      One thing that’s really important to understand is that non-binary people can experience body dysphoria just like binary-identified trans people do. It can just be a little different. Me being non-binary has nothing to do with whether or not I feel masculine or feminine. I have no problem with the idea of being a woman who goes against gender norms. I think that’s really cool, actually! But I have physical dysphoria. When a stranger looks at me and calls me “ma’am,” it feels weird. Imagine if all of a sudden, people started mistaking you for Madonna even though you didn’t really think you looked like Madonna. Maybe you have no problem with the idea of looking like Madonna, but it’s kind of frustrating that everyone else is seeing something that you can’t see. That’s what dysphoria can be like. I “see” my body as being much more masculine than it is, so it creates an incongruity when I’m reminded that it’s not. But medically transitioning to male would mean changing my body in ways that also feel foreign. I can’t imagine having a body like a cisgender man’s, and being perceived as a man doesn’t feel 100% right, either. Identifying as non-binary allows me to acknowledge my dysphoria and correct it in a way that feels more comfortable to me. I’ve tried ignoring my dysphoria and I’ve tried identifying as FTM and pursuing a “full” transition to living as male, and neither option has been comfortable or sustainable to me. I always end up buckling under the weight of it after a while.

    • Quixotic

      Just use common sense. Seriously. Use the same consideration you would hopefully use with anyone else. If you don’t know someone well, would you immediately ask them deeply personal questions about their family relationships, sex life, or medical history? Let’s say you meet a woman you don’t know very well, but you find out offhand that she’s a breast cancer survivor. Would you immediately ask her if her breasts were “real” or if she’d had a mastectomy and reconstruction? No, hopefully you wouldn’t. Would you ask a random black coworker of yours to teach you about racism? Again, hopefully not. But these topics might be appropriate if the person is a friend or they’ve brought the topic up. The problem trans people face is that a lot of people seem to think that by nature of being trans, a person should be willing to answer deeply personal questions about their medical history, their love life, and their genitals. There’s no reason you need to ask a trans acquaintance what genitals they have in order to better learn about trans people. You also don’t need a specific trans person to educate you if they’re not volunteering information. If the context is appropriate, then you should be able to have an honest exchange. But part of that means accepting and respecting it if your friend tells you they’re uncomfortable with the question, and picking up on their cues. If they don’t talk about being trans much, maybe they don’t want to discuss these things.

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