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Generic Cereal Names Are Awesome

Does someone actually get paid to come up with these? What a strange job that must be.

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  • Apple Dapples

    Apple Dapples

    "Alright, what've we got? Apples, it tastes like apples. We can't just call it apples....we need another word. 'Apple....', ummm...'Apple Bapple'...'Apple Capple'.....'Apple Dapple'...yeah...yeah, that's got a nice ring to it!".

  • Crisp 6

    Crisp 6

    As bland as the third one sounds - it looks as if that team finally hit on something original and just as descriptive.

  • Square Shaped Corn

    Square Shaped Corn

    It is what it is.

  • Cereal


    You can't get any more literal than this.

  • Berrry Treets

    Berrry Treets

    Why the extra "R"?

  • Freaky Fruits

    Freaky Fruits

    For those who enjoy getting freaky with their fruits.

  • Freakies


    For those who just enjoy Freakies (free one inside!!)

  • Nutty Nuggets

    Nutty Nuggets

    When you can't promote the taste, sometimes the most basic description really is effective.

  • ..& More..."

    ..& More..."

    This one somehow manages being both too literal and too vague. "With Almonds, Oats, & More (and you pour milk over it and eat it with a spoon...and then you chew it with your mouth...and swallow it down your esophagus and digest it in your belly and eventually poop it out...)". And yet the suspicious "More" leaves far too much mystery for my taste.

  • Wheat Flakes

    Wheat Flakes

    Since you can't call 'em "Poop Flakes"

  • Kiddo Balls & Honey Balls

    Kiddo Balls & Honey Balls

    Perhaps it is best to avoid the word "Balls" no matter how perfectly descriptive it is.

  • "Scrunchy" Fruity Floats

    "Scrunchy" Fruity Floats

    Best use of a word that has absolutely NOTHING to do with accurately describing the cereal.

  • "Compare to Cinnamon Toast Crunch"

    "Compare to Cinnamon Toast Crunch"

    If you do pick a semi-original name for your generic cereal - never trust the consumer to understand your genius mind - go ahead an spell it out for us on the front of the box.

  • Awesome Taste!

    Awesome Taste!

    If you can't get inventive with the name - make sure you create your own positive slogan about their taste.

  • Raisin, umm...wait a minute....

    Raisin, umm...wait a minute....

    Why are they allowed to use the regular names for some? Why bother with all the others?