17. The competitive aunties.
“Oh, your son just got into Harvard? Well, mine is being pursued by Harvard, Oxford, Princeton, IIM, Yale and Cambridge, all of whom are lining up to give sexual favors to get him to accept, all while he’s busy running his successful drug trade and offshore banking empire, and swatting off the most beautiful and richest female suitors, as he finishes his fifth bestselling young adult novel about a handsome and powerful Indian boy gifted with superpowers and who is eternally devoted to his ever-so-caring and amazing mother!”
21. Your nana who will seize any opportunity to dismiss your problems and launch into a sermon about how easy your life is.
“In my day, we had to walk fifty kilometers to school every day. Barefoot. Through a forest. Fighting off hyenas. Going uphill. Both ways.”
- The Army Corps of Engineers and North Dakota police have ordered protesters to leave the Dakota Access Pipeline site by this afternoon or face arrest.
- The ACLU is suing the city of Milwaukee and its police for allegedly performing thousands of illegal stop-and-frisk searches that targeted minorities.
- Immigrants are worried two government memos are laying the groundwork for the deportation force President Trump promised on the campaign trail.
- #Peggygate: West Elm offers full refunds for the notoriously disintegrating Peggy Couch days after pulling it from its website 👏