A Definitive Ranking Of The "Gossip Girl" Parents From "No, Thanks" To "Please Adopt Me"

Nate’s mom was really the worst, tbh.

When it comes to the legacy of Gossip Girl, we mostly focus on the glamorous teenagers and compare how much we liked or disliked them throughout the show's six seasons. But, what about their parents? Who was the worst parent? Who was the best?

Paramount Pictures

Below is the definitive ranking of the Gossip Girl parental figures.

VH1

I said what I said!!

11. Elizabeth Fisher

The CW

Making your own son believe that he killed you in childbirth, and then coming back years after just to con and manipulate him...worst parent material indeed.

10. Bart Bass

The CW

I don’t think I even need to write about all the bad things Bart did. He was truly evil, but I also don’t think he ever pretended to be a good parent. Which is good, I guess?

9. Alison Humphrey

The CW

Alison treated parenting like a boring hobby, which caused emotional turmoil for her husband and kids. She walked out on her family and acted hurt when Dan didn’t welcome her back with open arms. She also had no right to try to parent Jenny after never really being there for her or get mad at Rufus for seeing Lily. Luckily, we didn’t have to see her too much after Season 1.

8. William van der Woodsen

The CW

Okay, so he pretended Lily had cancer, abandoned his kids, tried to break up Rufus and Lily by making everyone believe he cheated on her, used Ivy to break up Bart and Lily, manipulated Serena into thinking he changed, and STILL Lily ends up with him. I just...can't. Eric was right about him all along.

7. Anne Archibald

The CW

I’m gonna be honest here: I really wanted to put her last, but I couldn’t because other parents technically did worst things. BUT, Anne was absolutely awful. She manipulated her son into protecting his father, and then didn’t give The Captain the time of day once he went to jail. Yes, she was in a toxic relationship which probably affected her mental health, but she was also ready to send her own son to rehab for something she KNEW he didn’t do. It's just a big no from me.

6. Howard “The Captain” Archibald

The CW

Okay, here me out! Yes, the list of horrible parental decisions The Captain made goes on and on. He let his son take the fall for his own crime, tried to kidnap his son and wife for ransom money, punched Nate, and was prepared to run away from going to prison. However, he was also under the influence of addiction when he made most of those decisions and he made the right choice in the end when he decided to go to turn himself in. I think he also definitely could’ve put a lot less pressure on Nate, but at the end of the day, he truly loved his kid and I still like him more than the previous person on this list.

5. Gabriela Abrams

The CW

Vanessa's mom didn’t get much screen time, but when she did, she really didn’t come across as mother of the year. It’s understandable she wanted to raise her daughter with the same beliefs as her, but that doesn’t mean she should’ve diminished Vanessa’s accomplishments in the process.

4. Lily van der Woodsen

The CW

Lily made a lot of mistakes, and for a while she cared too much about her appearance, but I think she really changed as a person as the seasons went on and made up for everything she did. She always told Serena what she needed to hear instead of what she wanted to, the way any great parent would. She was also an amazing parental figure to Chuck and really took him under her wing, even before she officially married his dad, which warms my heart deeply.

3. Rufus Humphrey

The CW

Rufus was definitely one of the most kind-hearted characters on the show. He really tried his best to raise Jenny and Dan well, but he could be pretty clueless about what his kids were up to. Although, I have to say, suddenly bringing back your kids' mom who abandoned you when your son is clearly not cool with it is not the best parenting decision.

2. Eleanor Waldorf

The CW

Yeah okay, Eleanor was kind of mean at first, but I think she truly changed for the better rather quickly. She always supported Blair and had her best intentions in mind. She also realized that she wasn’t there for Blair as much as she could’ve been during her childhood and made it up to her by always being by her side. We stan a fashion queen.

1. And finally, the best of the best, Cyrus Rose

The CW

If Cyrus isn't one of your favorite characters in general, did you even watch the show? He was an amazing father figure to Blair and even challenged her when they first met so she would know he wasn't a pushover. He was always kind to everyone and really made the Waldorfs into a real family. What a king.