back to top

16 Lies Your Mom Told You

Mother knows best. Or does she? We don't know. She might be a liar. Check out the ultimate example of questionable motherhood with Pretty Wicked Moms, premiering June 4th on Lifetime.

Posted on

1. "I can cut your hair! I'm good at cutting hair."

Via youtube.com

Now you're sort of bald. But hey, it was free.

2. "They're just jealous, honey."

Nope. They're just mean kids. And I have head gear.
Via shutterstock.com

Nope. They're just mean kids. And I have head gear.

3. "Television will melt your brain."

Via gifbin.com

FALSE. Television will fix your brain. Watch television.

4. "Let's get you some ice cream!"

JUST KIDDING. IT'S TIME FOR YOUR BOOSTER SHOT.
Via shutterstock.com

JUST KIDDING. IT'S TIME FOR YOUR BOOSTER SHOT.

5. "So I didn't get you the trapper keeper you wanted. It doesn't matter!"

Oh...but it does. If you didn't have Lisa Frank in elementary school you were NOBODY.
exousia.etsy / Via Flickr: formulaexo

Oh...but it does. If you didn't have Lisa Frank in elementary school you were NOBODY.

6. "Your art is beautiful!"

This is a hamster. Seriously.
Childrens Book Review / Via Flickr: 25230222@N07

This is a hamster. Seriously.

7. "The gateway to fish heaven is through the toilet."

Bye, Goldie! Have fun in fish heaven! I'm glad you're not dead! I thought maybe you were dead!
Via commons.wikimedia.org

Bye, Goldie! Have fun in fish heaven! I'm glad you're not dead! I thought maybe you were dead!

8. "I've got a job for you. It'll only take a minute."

Take all this wood and stack it in a new pile across the yard and then rake all the leaves and then move the wood again.
Via shutterstock.com

Take all this wood and stack it in a new pile across the yard and then rake all the leaves and then move the wood again.

9. "Beauty is on the inside."

Do you know what's on the inside? Gross stuff. Organs. Blood. Poop.
Via commons.wikimedia.org

Do you know what's on the inside? Gross stuff. Organs. Blood. Poop.

10. "If you're not good, Santa won't come."

Via weheartit.com

Well this one is just layered with lies.

11. "We're almost there."

Two hours later, you're still in the car. In kid time, two hours is like eight years.
Via shutterstock.com

Two hours later, you're still in the car. In kid time, two hours is like eight years.

12. "You're so strong!!!"

Via theberry.com

You're like superman! You're going to be the strongest man in the world!

13. "You look so handsome!"

Via psychosexyunicorn.tumblr.com

She said as she sent you off to picture day wearing an argyle sweater vest.

14. "You want to be an astronaut? You're definitely going to be an astronaut."

Via shaytardgifs.tumblr.com

Absolutely. 100%. That is happening.

15. "If you don't eat these vegetables, you won't grow."

Via funnyjunk.com

...oh.

16. "She's not good enough for you! My precious boy!"

No one will ever be good enough!
Joe Crawford / Via Flickr: artlung

No one will ever be good enough!