1. You've been exclusive for a while now.
Monogamous relationship w/ @Postmates
2. You've taken your relationship public on your socials.
Relationship status: Postmates
3. You're just as into Postmates now as on the day you first met.
If @Postmates didn't want me to send it late night "you up?" messages, it wouldn't have "mate" in its name. #postmates #foodiecall
4. You can hit them up any time of night to come through with just what you need.
If you're awake right now you're a savage 👀!! Ima pull an all nighter and hang out with my real girlfriend @Postmates ❤️
5. When it comes to being together, Postmates isn't into "rules."
@LauraBaileyVO @WillingBlam @Postmates My boyfriend is postmates and my boyfriends boyfriend is also postmates. our relationship works.
6. They're super detail-oriented and tuned in to your most important needs.
This is better than a boyfriend. @Postmates
7. You can't help but compare them favorably to your exes.
Every time I get a Postmates delivery, I feel like I'm getting a taste of what it's like to have a boyfriend minus his emotional issues
8. Your friends are jealous of the chemistry you and Postmates have together.
My relationship with postmates might be stronger than the relationships I have with my closest friends. 💁🏼🚴♀️
9. Your communication with Postmates is on, like, a different level.
@Postmates update: henry and I are definitely hitting it off. gotta love a man with A++ communication skills
10. You've even talked about taking the next step together.
If you measure the seriousness of a relationship by how much stuff they’ve left at your house, then @Postmates and I are basically engaged.
11. You still value independence, but you don't know if you could even make it without Postmates.
Let's be honest, I can never break up with @Postmates. The good times far outweigh the bad, unlike my last relationship. And I'd starve.
12. Postmates has ruined you for all other relationships.
I can’t see a hot guy now without thinking, “yeah, he’s cute but can I text him to bring me pho at 11pm on a Tuesda… https://t.co/SPlSjHNMHC
13. And, finally, Postmates knows how to make you weak with those three simple words: "I have food."
Joseph is all I want in a relationship. #Postmates