16 Unforgivable Things Miami Is Doing This Winter

Maybe we're just jealous. Because every city should be Miami, and every car should be a sports car, like the Porsche Macan.

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1. Miami is shredding the gnar...

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Unacceptable.

2. ...putting on that winter weight...

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Not fair.

3. ... and breaking out the winter clothes.

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No.

4. Miami is making snowmen...

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There are no words.

5. ...snow angels...

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We must stop this.

6. ...and measuring all those inches that came down overnight.

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Not funny.

7. In Miami, tongues are getting stuck to icicles...

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Unwanted.

8. ...children are making snowballs...

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Nope.

9. ...and residents are taking Polar Bear swims like it's no big deal.

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THE WATER LOOKS PERFECT, AND IT'S UPSETTING.

10. Miami is getting into the holiday spirit...

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Not even cute. Not. Even. Cute.

11. ...and hibernating until spring.

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I. CAN'T.

12. The roads are really rough in Miami...

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No more.

13. ...everyone's white-knuckling it...

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Stop.

14. ...even the animals are bundling up.

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We're done here.

15. It's really piling up in Miami.

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Unfollowed.

16. And of course: Miami is sending weather forecasts to the rest of us — just to drive us insane.

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Every city should be Miami, and every car should be a sports car.

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