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Do You Need To Start Using Life Alert?

There is not a better time to find out.

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  1. What's your weekend looking like?

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    Homework. Maybe catch up on some news.
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    I'm going to get super wasted at a Kelly Clarkson concert. And maybe catch up on some news.
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    I'm going to get so ridiculously drunk that a viral video of me eating a footlong baguette, whole, goes viral.
  2. Who's your favorite?

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    Sean Hannity
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    Anderson Cooper
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    Charles Krauthammer
  3. What do you want to do when you grow up?

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    Die.
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    Live!
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    Die, live, who cares. I just wanna get HAMMERED.
  4. Pick a quote to live by.

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    "Better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian." -Herman Melville, Moby-Dick
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    "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." -Brooke Shields
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    ā€œIā€™d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin.ā€ -Gwyneth Paltrow
  5. Pick your favorite Spider-Man.

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    Tobey Maguire
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    Andrew Garfield
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    Tom Holland
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