1. Because watching live TV on mobile devices is like your butler, Chauncey, carrying your TV set everywhere for you.
2. Because now you can get the channels you want, which means never begging Zack to watch cartoons at his house again.
3. Because HD screens would literally make you feel like you're hallucinating.
4. Because DVR is like winning every argument over who gets to watch their favorite show.
5. Because original programming on TV right now is so damn good.
6. Because having total control of your viewing experience makes you feel like a total TV ninja.
7. Because rewinding live TV means all your friends always believe you about the awesome thing you saw.
"It was like a skateboard backflip...thingy. Idk, you had to be there."