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20 Times Lauren Lapkus Completely Owned Twitter

"Grow up before you make me throw up."

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1. When she awakened the hacker in all of us:

I'm 99% sure that everyone's password is pen15club

2. When she had just about enough of Minions:

I'm writing the next minions movie. It's a drama and "Kevin" dies in the first five minutes.

3. When she refused to raise cyber bullies:

My kids aren't gonna be allowed to post comments online until they're self-sufficient.

4. When she pitched the film of a generation:

Millennial movie idea: thief steals a girl's precious iPhone 6+ and will not return unless she gets him 1M non-bot followers by end of day

5. When she outdid all celeb baby names:


6. When her cat and Ellen Degeneres were basically twins:

I swear I just looked at my cat and saw Ellen Degeneres. Same eyes

7. When she decided that the world of sports should revolve around basketball:

Hockey should be called ice basketball. Soccer: grass basketball.

8. When she wasn't a fan of the reclined pigeon:

I've skipped yoga every day for the past year

9. When she had a lil R&R:

Unwinding by watching the Kate Plus 8 kids whack a piñata

10. When she achieved the impossible:

11. When she discovered she had a type:

i'm oddly attracted to hot people. it's so weird.

12. When she coined this catchphrase:

13. When she beat Raven Symone at her own game:

14. When she became a fashion critic:

People who think it's ok to wear pajamas outside also think it's ok to own really shitty pajamas.

15. When she sought to become the next Marina Abramovic:

I wanna do a performance art piece where I have all my friends walk like mindless robots through a Gap

16. When nature outdid Skrillex:

Walked outside and the birds were singing dubstep

17. When perfect was a little too perfect:

One time I met a single guy with a clean apartment and art on his walls. I immediately called the police.

18. When she longed for social media in her formative years:

i wish i had twitter in high school so i could've spent those years posting meaningful lyrics and updates like "bummed" or "i hate gym"

19. When she gave props to MJ:

Michael Jackson must've felt soo confident that his album was good to name it Bad.

20. And when she found the key to a successful marriage:

if no one at your wedding can breakdance, you'll get a divorce

You rock, don't ever change.


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