1. Randy Houser, “How Country Feels” (2013)
You ever watched the sun go down / From the bed of a pickup truck / Ever been so into somebody / You’re still lying there when it comes back up.
Houser has released at least two songs in a year about the possibilities of sex and pick up trucks. He’s a big fan, apparently.
2. Lee Kernahagen, “Ute Me” (2012)
Ute me, Ute me / I like it out back down a red dirt road / Ute me, Ute me / Shake this rig gonna rock and roll / Nobody’s stopping us now / We’re gettin’ dirty and down / Ute me.
Ute is Aussie for a kind of utility vehicle, which has the same cultural baggage as a pick up truck here, it also rhymes with root, which is slang for sex.
3. Jason Aldean, “Take A Little Ride” (2012)
Well I’m just ready to ride this Chevy / Ride this Chevy down a little backroad / Slide your pretty little self on over / Get a little closer, turn up the radio / Put your pretty pink toes on the dash / Lean your seat back / Man, I swear there ain’t nothing looks better than that / Sweet tan, little thing with nothing to do / I wanna take a little ride with you.
For Chevy, read “penis.” For “you can play my radio”, read “play with my penis”. For everything else, just read “penis.”
4. Florida Georgia Line, “Cruise” (2012)
She was sippin’ on southern and singin’ Marshall Tucker / We were falling in love in the sweet heart of summer / She hopped right up into the cab of my truck and said / “Fire it up, let’s go get this thing stuck.”
Finally, a woman takes initiative in the whole getting stuck in the back forty thing. Too bad this might be the most chaste of the works in question.
5. Rascal Flatts, “Banjo” (2012)
Yeah, you’re gettin’ close now / And you kick it into four wheel drive when you run out of road / And you go, and you go and you go-go-go / ‘Til you hear a banjo.
All of this driving women into places that they can’t be found sounds less seductive and more sinister when the lyrics remind you a little of Deliverance.
6. Kip Moore, “Somethin’ ‘Bout A Truck” (2011)
Something about a kiss that’s gonna lead to more / On that dropped tailgate, back behind the corn / The most natural thing, you’ve ever felt before / Something about a kiss that’s gonna lead to more.
Moore spends a lot of time convincing himself that all of this natural and beautiful, but he might be working a bit too hard to do what the birds and bees are telling him to do.
7. Luke Bryan, “I Don’t Want This Night to End” (2011)
You got your hands up / You’re rocking in my truck / You got the radio on / You’re singing every song / I’m set on cruise control / I’m slowly losing hold.
Rocking might be dancing, or it might mean something a bit more historical – think of it somewhere between the original meaning of rock and roll, and the ’70s slogan “If this vans a rocking…”
8. Jake Owens, “Eight Second Ride” (2009)
So we headed out to Old Tobacco Road / put the tailgate down and we made love / She said “A true country boy is hard to find / But I found one wilder then any eight second ride.”
If you meet someone at a bar, and instead of going home, you go to “tobacco road”, because you find the dude’s giant tires and dipping cup attractive – you are probably not making love.
9. Justin Moore, “Back That Thing Up” (2008)
Back that thing up / Throw it in reverse, let daddy load it up /
Honey, back that thing up / If you gonna work a farm you got to learn to drive a truck / Come on, back that thing up.
Considering the porny double entendres in the video, the shredded ’80s guitars, and “that thing” is generally understood to mean ass – this song might not be about farm work.
- Monday night's presidential debate between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton was a horse show for undecided voters.