1. Will's death.
2. When Merlin sees Gaius dead.
3. When Arthur learns the truth about his birth and Merlin has to lie to him about it to stop him from killing Arthur, having to insult magic in the process.
4. When Freya dies and Merlin sends her off in the boat.
5. When Merlin has to poison Morgana to protect Arthur.
6. When Merlin finally meets his father only to have him die.
7. When Lancelot sacrifices himself to the veil.
8. Elyan's death.
9. When Merlin tells Arthur to continue to ban magic to protect him.
10. Gwaine's death.
11. And of course, Arthur's death.
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