1. Birds are trying to set up a bird colony in your backyard.
2. Making your bed is futile because you’re going to mess it up anyway.
3. Your untied shoelaces are dangerous. Even when your shoes aren’t on your feet.
4. 3 a.m. is actually wake-up time, and you’ve been doing it wrong forever.
5. Inside my belly exists a button that will end the world. If you rub it, it will end.
6. The greatest live theatrical experience ever, better than Broadway, is when I knock your stuff off the counter.
7. Your computer is putting out some serious radiation, so I must sit on it when you use it...to protect you.
8. The toilet WILL engulf you if I don’t stand and watch when you go to the bathroom.
9. No one understands you like I do. Thusly, you should only pay attention to me.
10. Dogs are responsible for the depletion of the ozone layer.
11. The thing you’re eating is actually mine.
Your cat is also desperately trying to tell you they’re thirsty. Heed your cat’s calls, and find out more about PetSafe® Pet Hydration Month.
All images via BuzzFeed / Abbey Lossing