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1. He uses Vine to make unsettling selfies.
2. He uses it to broadcast gruesome injuries with muzak in the background (Ouch!!!).
3. And tell everyone about his badass new haircut.
4. Or stand awkwardly under a bridge with birds.
5. Not to mention approach unsuspecting coeds in the park.
6. Or just, you know, stand erectly.
7. He uses Vine to send private messages to a woman named "Tina" that nobody else in the family has ever heard of.
8. He uses it to compliment random women in dining establishments.
9. And to tell everyone about his recent visit to the dermatologist.
10. Or to select fabric for rugs.
11. And lust after the family Christmas tree when everyone else is asleep.
12. He uses it to film women's shoes in the mall.
13. And lament sudden drops in temperature.
14. And pronounce the word "dripping" in a way that should be illegal.
15. And take blurry videos of the moon. He loves the moon.
16. He uses it to make ominous videos about Stacey's flowers. Nobody has ever met Stacy.
17. So we'll know what he's eating for dinner.
18. To inform people of his immediate location.
19. To communicate with the dog in a demonic voice.
20. But mostly just to take more awesomely bad selfies!!!
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