27 Signs You Are Actually Batman

    Aside from wishing that everyone would just call you "The Dark Knight."

    1. You are tortured by a traumatic memory from your childhood.

    2. You have channeled your considerable emotional damage into putting all your time and resources into some kind of quixotic yet altruistic quest.

    3. You are resplendent in black.

    4. You have mastered pretty much any valuable skill a human can possibly have.

    5. Your detective skills are unparalleled.

    6. No one can trick your genius mind.

    7. You are prepared for anything.

    8. You are a skilled and exceptionally sexy dancer.

    9. No matter what you do, you are utterly flawless.

    10. You know that the roof is the best part of any building.

    11. Especially if it's a building with gargoyles.

    12. Gargoyles are totally awesome!

    13. Seriously, can't say enough good things about gargoyles.

    14. Sometimes you even pretend to be a gargoyle, because gargoyles are sooooo cool.

    15. You are not a fan of clowns.

    16. When you find a theme you like, you really commit to it.

    17. Every now and again you're just like "I'm just gonna stand here and grimace in the cold drizzling rain," and it's kinda badass.

    18. You're not here to make friends.

    19. That said, you love to hang out with teenage boys.

    20. And many people find you sexually irresistible.

    21. You have at least one frenemy who is always undermining you.

    22. You get really pissed off when people trivialize your pain.

    23. You have taken the whole "man cave" concept very literally.

    24. There's a good chance you're just as crazy as the criminally insane freaks and mutants you put in Arkham.

    25. You often wonder whether "you" is just as a mask you wear, and Batman is your true self.

    26. You find it useful to constantly remind people who you are.

    27. Because you are the GODDAMN BATMAN.