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Definitive Proof That The X-Men Are Sexier IRL

We went to see an X-Men burlesque and rap show, and it was actually pretty awesome.

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The burlesque show was emceed by Bastard Keith, who introduced the show as Professor Charles Xavier.

The first proper burlesque performance was by Fem Appeal, who was an utterly flawless late '70s version of Storm.

And naturally, the performance was set to the Scorpions' "Rock You Like A Hurricane."

After that, we were treated to a gender-swapped version of Rogue and Gambit portrayed by Betty Quirk and Leelando Calrissian. They danced to MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This," which was brilliant.

And by the end, she wasn't wearing anything but her tiara and a Magneto-helmet thong.

Wolverine is always fierce, but Matt Knife's portrayal of the clawed berserker was fierce in a very different sense of the word.

Unfortunately, we don't have a good shot of him flashing his bare ass.

Mary Cyn's performance as the mouthy mercenary was even better because she was dancing to a mashup of Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe" and Nine Inch Nails' "Head Like A Hole."

Topher Bousquet switched things up in the middle of the show by doing a truly astonishing contortionist act as Nightcrawler.

Lefty Lucy, the organizer of the show, was next up as Kitty Pryde.

And she went the extra mile by doing her entire performance with a homemade puppet of Kitty's pet dragon, Lockheed.

Hazel Honeysuckle closed out the show as Jubilee, and danced to truly inspired song selections. She came out to "Let's Go To the Mall" from How I Met Your Mother...

And finished with a bit of Katy Perry's "Firework," because, duh.

Everyone came out again at the end to take a bow.

That's stagehand Sarah Tops in her version of the classic yellow-and-black X-Men costume.

This was a one-off event, but many of the performers regularly appear in fandom-based burlesque shows.


Here's Sarah Tops as Poison Ivy and Mary Cyn as The Joker in a recent Batman burlesque show in Washington, D.C.