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If You've Had Most Of These Annoying Subway Experiences, You're A True New Yorker

This checklist is for everyone just having the time of their lives on the rapidly declining NYC subway system!

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    Getting a "please swipe again" signal and swiping over and over while everyone around you thinks you're an idiot who's never been on the subway before.
    Discovering you have "insufficient fare" on your Metrocard on a day when you're in a hurry and running late.
    Arriving on the platform just in time to have the doors slam in your face before the train pulls out of the station.
    Having your train pull in to the platform just as your connecting train leaves on the other side.
    Having your train suddenly turn local or express without any warning.
    Getting stuck on an immobile train and not getting any kind of announcement of what's going on.
    Waiting around for a train at night and feeling bitter disappointment when a “not in service” train or some kind of maintenance vehicle comes down the tracks instead of the train you need.
    Getting stuck on the one car without air conditioning on the hottest day imaginable.
    Getting stuck underground in the hottest, most humid station and sweating through your clothes before having to go to work or some other place where you need to look presentable.
    Having your local subway station get shut down on nights or weekends.
    Having your local subway station get shut down for weeks or months on end and just having to deal with it.
    Attempting to decipher totally unintelligible announcements over the intercom.
    Having to switch to a shuttle bus, especially late at night.
    Waiting forever on a platform and having your train zoom through the station without stopping without any explanation.
    Discovering that something has changed with your train and being forced to walk to a totally different line several blocks away.
    Waiting forever on a platform and when the train arrives it's too packed for anyone to actually get on.
    Getting stuck on the smelly car.
    Getting stuck in some sticky puddle on a subway that isn't getting cleaned any time soon.
    Having your train get suddenly rerouted to a totally different subway line that goes nowhere near your destination.
    Having your train being held "momentarily" because of traffic ahead for, like, a half hour.
    Realizing a trip that normally takes 20 minutes on a weekday is going to take over an hour and involve multiple connections on the weekend.

If You've Had Most Of These Annoying Subway Experiences, You're A True New Yorker

You are either an extremely lucky person or a tourist.

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Ah yes, you are clearly a resident of New York City. Start spreading the news, or whatever!

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