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Buzz

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Posted on Mar 17, 2017

Build A Perfect Man And We'll Reveal Your Emotional Age

It's not about how old you are, but how old you feel.

Matthew Perpetua

by Matthew Perpetua

BuzzFeed Staff

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Can lift a car and just, like, throw it

Can lift a car and just, like, throw it

Knows how to play Montell Jordan's "This Is How We Do It" on a harp

Knows how to play Montell Jordan's "This Is How We Do It" on a harp

Knows all the sports numbers, and can talk all about the sports numbers

Knows all the sports numbers, and can talk all about the sports numbers

Can build a working smartphone out of onions

Can build a working smartphone out of onions

Knows where to get all the best soup

Knows where to get all the best soup

Is a vegan, but never, ever talks about it

Is a vegan, but never, ever talks about it

Can recite entire 90-minute episodes of Marc Maron's podcast from memory, especially the episodes where he interviews some rando comedian no one has heard of

Can recite entire 90-minute episodes of Marc Maron's podcast from memory, especially the episodes where he interviews some rando comedian no one has heard of

Looks sexy in a hazmat suit

Looks sexy in a hazmat suit

Willing to indulge your haunted doll role-playing fetish

Willing to indulge your haunted doll role-playing fetish

Wears beautiful jewelry he made himself out of fresh garlic

Wears beautiful jewelry he made himself out of fresh garlic

Knows his way around a potato, something of a 'tato expert

Knows his way around a potato, something of a 'tato expert

Always smells like a clean bathroom

Always smells like a clean bathroom

Has never once used the word "actually" — he always says "Ashley" instead

Has never once used the word "actually" — he always says "Ashley" instead

Powerful tongue capable of punching through steel

Powerful tongue capable of punching through steel

Always communicates like a dancehall reggae emcee, never speaks like a normal person

Always communicates like a dancehall reggae emcee, never speaks like a normal person

Really into "butterscotch pudding sex," just like you

Really into "butterscotch pudding sex," just like you

He's got the tickle fingers!

He's got the tickle fingers!
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Image: Via Getty Mashed Potatoes

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Mashed Potatoes

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Image: Via Getty Curry

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Curry

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Image: Via Getty Guacamole

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Guacamole

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Image: Via Getty BBQ Ribs

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BBQ Ribs

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Image: Via Getty Pancakes

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Pancakes

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Image: Via Getty Fried Chicken

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Fried Chicken

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Image: Via Getty Spaghetti Cacio e Pepe

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Spaghetti Cacio e Pepe

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Image: Via Getty Pizza

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Pizza

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Image: Via Getty Vindaloo

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Vindaloo

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Image: Via Getty Cake

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Cake

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Image: Via Getty Cinnamon Buns

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Cinnamon Buns

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Image: Via Getty Chili Con Carne

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Chili Con Carne

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Image: Via Getty Tacos

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Tacos

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Image: Via Getty Ice Cream

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Ice Cream

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Image: Via Getty Bolognese

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Bolognese

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Image: Via Getty Thanksgiving Turkey

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Thanksgiving Turkey

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Image: Via Getty Grilled Chicken

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Grilled Chicken

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Image: Via Getty Any Soup You Want, Baby!

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Any Soup You Want, Baby!

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