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Build A Perfect Man And We'll Reveal Your Emotional Age

It's not about how old you are, but how old you feel.

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    Can lift a car and just, like, throw it
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    Knows how to play Montell Jordan's "This Is How We Do It" on a harp
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    Knows all the sports numbers, and can talk all about the sports numbers
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    Can build a working smartphone out of onions
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    Knows where to get all the best soup
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    Is a vegan, but never, ever talks about it
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    Can recite entire 90-minute episodes of Marc Maron's podcast from memory, especially the episodes where he interviews some rando comedian no one has heard of
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    Looks sexy in a hazmat suit
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    Willing to indulge your haunted doll role-playing fetish
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    Wears beautiful jewelry he made himself out of fresh garlic
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    Knows his way around a potato, something of a 'tato expert
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    Always smells like a clean bathroom
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    Has never once used the word "actually" — he always says "Ashley" instead
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    Powerful tongue capable of punching through steel
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    Always communicates like a dancehall reggae emcee, never speaks like a normal person
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    Really into "butterscotch pudding sex," just like you
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    He's got the tickle fingers!
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    Via Getty
    Mashed Potatoes
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    Curry
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    Guacamole
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    BBQ Ribs
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    Pancakes
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    Fried Chicken
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    Spaghetti Cacio e Pepe
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    Pizza
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    Vindaloo
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    Cake
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    Cinnamon Buns
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    Chili Con Carne
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    Tacos
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    Ice Cream
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    Bolognese
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    Thanksgiving Turkey
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    Grilled Chicken
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    Any Soup You Want, Baby!
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