Recently, u/SlenderBacon449 asked men, "What are some questions you're too afraid to ask women?" Going through the answers, it became clear that there's so much about women that men are totally clueless about.
A lot of the responses had to deal with sex ed, which is concerning, though there were a lot of questions I have myself that were finally answered:
1. "When you're platonic friends with a man, do you want to be treated exactly how he treats his male friends (in terms of tone, the inside jokes, and the way time is spent), or is there an expectation to be treated differently as a woman?"
2. "With periods is it a gush, a small leak, or more of a drip every so often?"
3. "How uncomfortable is it to wear a tampon? How do you know when you have to change it? Do you get some internal sensation that lets you know when it's time to replace it? Do you time it? How do you know?"
Answer 1: "If you feel a tampon after insertion, something is wrong. The rest is trial and error, but you can't wear a tampon longer than eight hours. Most of my friends make that six hours or less to be safe." —u/whatevernamedontcare
Answer 2: "It's only uncomfortable if it's dry; you can tell it's time to change a tampon by how squishy it feels inside. Sometimes we get it wrong. I've thought I needed to change my tampon before, but when I went to tug on the strings it hurt because it was too dry still, so you leave it." —u/ItsCatwoman
Answer 3: "You also tend to change it if it's leaking or when you poop." —u/spasamsd
4. "Do women put deodorant in their boob pits?"
5. "When using the bathroom and you see your pad is slightly soiled, does it feel awkward having to put it back against you body?"
Answer 1: "Yes. You also suddenly feel hyper aware of the wet, soggy feeling of expelled blood being pushed back up against your bits." —u/Lalalelo94
Answer 2: "If it's a longer trip to the bathroom, everything is cold and wet when you pull up your pants. One of my least favorite sensations. I typically wipe at the pad with a piece of toilet paper before pulling my pants back up to help prevent this from happening." —u/SpookySeraph
6. "Do you have 'crushes' on random people you encounter that you don't really see anything developing with? Like someone you see every day but don't really talk to for whatever reason? Like, 'My barista is insanely hot, and I fantasize about him even though absolutely nothing is going to happen because of several very important reasons.' I assume this happens, but have always wondered if it's more common with men."
7. "I go to the gym and see women wear these sports bras that have like 10 straps. While I think that is a cool style, I wonder how they put it on and not get tangled in the straps?"
Answer 1: "Totally get tangled in them sometimes, but you initially kind of bunch them together." —u/peppermint-latte
Answer 2: "I hold all the straps with my thumbs, stick my head through, and hope for the best." —u/missnikkibabyyy
8. "Why is it that when I get excited about a subject I'm passionate about, I sometimes get accused of mansplaining? Sometimes, I just really like a subject and want to talk about it. I'm not being a dick; I just suck at social cues, and unfortunately most guys suck as well."
Answer 1: "It sometimes does come down to social cues. I think the best thing to do is to not dominate the conversation, but check in with them. For example, instead of talking about birds for 10 minutes, check in and volley the conversation — ask them if they are interested in birds, what their favorite bird is, etc. That way it is more of a conversation than a lecture." —u/artificialnocturnes
Answer 2: "Ask us, before you go off, how much we know. Or say something like, 'Tell me if you already know any of this,' so they won't feel as weird telling you, and you can just skip to the next point you were going to say." —u/chexxmex
9. "I know this is going to seem weird, but how do you control your pee stream? It’s easy as a guy, but I’m not too sure it would be for a woman."
Answer 1: "Direction? No. Flow speed? Yes." —u/MooshAro
Answer 2: "One of the times I had to pee outside, I did the 'pre pee' to make sure I was angled right and all seemed fine. I upped the flow speed, the angle changed massively, and it was like a broken sprinkler. Thankfully, my shoes were waterproof." —u/EmmaHatesTheBullshit
10. "What kind of common behavior makes a guy seem creepy or unattractive?"
11. "For women with pierced nipples, if you get pregnant and start lactating, does the milk also come out through the piercing holes?"
Answer: "It can. Most women take their piercings out because it can be choking hazard, and then the piercing hole heals up very quickly. Also, milk comes out of several ducts at the nipple, not just one hole!" —u/AliceDeeTwentyFive
12. "Do women get the pee shiver? I know sometimes I’ll be pissing, and there’s an uncontrolled shiver as I’m finishing up. Does that happen with women at all?"
13. "How do we become friends with y'all? There are some women I've only talked to a few times, but I feel like we could have the dopest of friendships. Like no romantic stuff or couple stuff, but like, 'We can play Super Smash Brothers all day!'"
Answer 1: "You'll be surprised how much we crave strictly platonic friendship with a guy, because most of the time men end up having ulterior motives. Just treat us like your friend, and hope you don't get misunderstood." —u/whispervesper
Answer 2: "If she seems hesitant, you can just tell her outright that you're just looking for friendship. Also, inviting her to a group thing instead of one-on-one can help keep expectations platonic." —u/peppermint-latte
14. "How did you deal with going from looking like a child to getting sexual attention in a rather short period of time? Did you expect it?"
15. "What should I do when someone's period stain is showing and they seem oblivious to it?"
16. "Why do many women have an overabundance of pillows in their homes? Couches, beds...I get having one or two for comfort, but I've seen women with over five pillows."
17. "Do you randomly get sexually aroused in public for no reason at all like men? And if so, does it die down quickly?"
18. "How weird or unsafe do women feel if a man is walking behind them in some silent area? I have internal panic attacks thinking that I'm making women uncomfortable when doing this, and usually just walk faster until I'm ahead of them, but sometimes overtaking might feel like a direct attack from behind, so there's that worry, too. What would women prefer men do in such situations?"
19. "Do the majority of women out there prefer a man with a deeper voice?"
Answer: "From me and all my friends, yes. But we all agree that the voice can’t be too deep. Like there is a certain tone that’s just...perfect." —u/EggCake258
20. "Do women prefer men to be open and direct about their intentions when dating, or is there necessity for nuance, subtle signals, and such? For instance, is it better for men, when getting to know a woman they are interested in, to say, 'Hey, I like you. I’d love to take you out on a date sometime,' or to be nice and play that game where both parties try to figure out if the other person likes them?"
21. "Do you prefer dad bods, full-on jacked muscles, or jacked but not too jacked?"
Answer: "I like healthy-looking guys. Personally, I find jacked guys unattractive. I feel like it mainly impresses other guys. It's not pleasant getting hugged; it's like a rock wall. Honestly, if you like a guy, you think his body is hot, even if maybe others don't." —u/Nouveaucola
22. "What can we safely compliment? Are all things related to appearance off limits?"
23. "What do all of you women talk about in the bathroom? When you all leave together for a couple minutes, we're left in mystery."
Answer: "Most of the time it's nothing important. We just continue the conversation that was happing before we went in. Like no joke, I literally went with friends to go to the bathroom, and the only thing we talked about was pretzels." —u/allyssa_the_scarcrow
24. "Do women like booty on guys? I go to gym and don't want to have a big butt."
25. "Does someone's job or profession change how attractive you find him?"
Answer: "Not the specific job per se, but more whether they have passion, dedication, or interest in it. I don’t care what people do for a living, and sometimes it’s cool to hear about their day. But if someone’s complaining about feeling like they’re in a dead-end job that they’re just half-assing every day but won’t do anything about the situation, then that's a total turn-off." —u/ReineTek
26. "Many women always smell pleasant. Like noticeably pleasant. In comparison, guys either smell bad or neutral. Is this an active choice to always smell good? Do you try to make yourself smell noticeably good all the time?"
27. "How do you hide your period pain so well?"
What are some other questions you're afraid to ask women? Or women — what do you wish more men knew? Let me know in the comments.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.