11 Surefire Ways To Get Your Ass Out Of Bed

New Year’s resolution: Stop being a lazy slacker and start being a REAL PERSON.

1. Get a diabolical money-shredding alarm clock.

If you don’t shut the alarm off, it’ll shred that $100 bill you worked so hard for. The alarm is just a concept, but Lifehacker has a tip on how to make one yourself.

[source: Quora]

2. Make a pact with a set of co-workers: If you don’t make it to work on time, you have to pay them each $1.

New Line Cinema /

Or $20. Up the stakes IF YOU DARE.

[source: Quora]

3. Install an app that forces you to solve a math problem before it shuts off.

It’s called Math Alarm and it has the fortunate side effect of making you better at math.
(Requires jailbroken phone.)

[source: Quora]

4. Amplify your phone alarm by placing it in a glass.

5. Bonus: Keep the alarm on the opposite side of the room.

By the time you’ve reached the alarm, you’re an ambulatory, sentient human being. Congrats!

[source: Quora]

6. Set a song you absolutely loathe as your wake-up song.

On the flip side, you could instead choose an invigorating, positive song that will empower you to get up and take the day on by the bullhorns, start living, etc.

7. Drink a bunch of water before you go to bed so you’ll have to pee in the morning.

Of course, this can always backfire if you wake up to go pee at 4 a.m. and can’t go back to sleep. So judge your bladder capacity accordingly.

[source: Quora]

8. Get a Clocky, the alarm clock that runs away when you press snooze.

Get it here for $50.

9. Get a pet.

They will annoy you until you finally get up.

[source: Quora]

10. Start reading your email once your alarm goes off.

Bonus: Stop checking your email starting at 8 p.m. the previous evening. By morning, it’ll be chock-full of annoying and stressful things you’ll have to deal with. Just seeing your boss’ name will jolt you into alertness.

[source: Quora]

11. Resort to thinking of yourself as a dog.

Try the Pavlovian method of training yourself to get up immediately.

When you’ve got yourself some free time during the day:

1. Set yourself up for bed.
2. Set your alarm for a few minutes from now. Pretend like you’re actually sleeping.
3. When the alarm rings, get up immediately and do exactly what you’d expect yourself to do when you wake up, like shut off the alarm, stretch, walk to the bathroom, etc.

Repeat the above steps at least five times. Read more about it here.

[source: Quora]

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