Skip To Content
  • Viral badge
  • lol badge
  • WTF badge

Lamest Murder Excuses

The "dog ate my homework" equivalent of murder alibis and excuses.

  • "I'm Too Fat to Kill"

    A man accused of killing his former son-in-law claims he was just too fat to have pulled off the murder. He was fat enough to sit on his ass googling "how to commit a murder" before the shooting, though. Watch the report here.

  • "I Had a Sudden Fit of Gay Panic"

    This defense was used to acquit an Illinois man who stabbed his neighbor 61 times. Read more here.

  • "I've Been Playing Too Much Grand Theft Auto"

    Read more here.

  • "Someone Dropped PCP On My Head!"

  • "I Can't Help It, I'm Antisocial"

    Asperger's Syndrome used as murder defense. Read more here.

  • "I'm Too Intelligent"

    A computer genius was just too consumed in his own code to realize what he was doing. Read more here.

  • "I'm a Necrophiliac"

    Man claims that he had sex with a dead girl lying in a pool of blood because he was a necrophiliac, but didn't actually commit the murder. Read more here

  • "I Thought My Girlfriend Was a Vampire"

    He got off using this excuse, too. Read more here.

  • "He Told Me I Looked Like Lance Bass"

    A man killed another man in self-defense after being threatened and teased about his resemblance to pop star Lance Bass. Read more here.

  • "I Was Sleepwalking"

    There are 7 instances when sleepwalking was used as a defense. Read more here.