38 Reasons Your Life Will Be So Much Easier In 2014
We really learned a lot in 2013. Now it's time to put it all to good use.
1. You'll win every hot wing-eating contest that life throws your way.
2. Your counter will be free of spatula sauce drippings.
3. You'll be charging your iPhone twice as fast.
4. You'll never lose your car in the parking garage again.
5. Your rings won't turn your fingers green.
6. You'll be saved from embarrassment at parties because you know that white wine neutralizes red wine.
7. Your baths will be 1000x more awesome because you'll never drop your book in the water again.
8. You will experience the extreme satisfaction of opening a jar with duct tape.
9. You've now been endowed with the gift of "late night sushi snack."
Put your sushi roll leftovers in takeout soy sauce containers for a yummy snack later.
10. Also, no more brain freeze!
11. NO MORE COLD BUTT IN 2014.
12. You'll have perfect winged eyeliner with the help of a spoon.
13. You will conquer pet fur on your carpet once and for all.
14. You'll be the life of the party with your eyelash curler.
15. You'll have remarkably clean ceilings.
16. You won't be sending any accidentally premature emails.
17. Your fridge will be free of dried-up condiment spills.
18. Your winter clothing will be effectively de-pilled.
19. You're going to have the chillest punch bowl in the neighborhood with these giant ice cubes.
20. Your kids will do all the work for you.
21. Your two-buck chuck will taste so much better when aerated in your blender.
22. Your morning yogurt experience is one step closer to AWESOME.
Just tip the honey compartment into the yogurt compartment.