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    Here Are The Thoughts I Had While Watching "Harry Potter" For The First Time

    White wizards doing black magic.

    I was seven years old when Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (1998) debuted in the US. And I was pretty into it.


    But I stopped reading after the first book, and I just wasn’t invested enough to the see the movie when it came out in 2001.

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    Shameful, I know.

    Seems weird, right? But growing up, Paid In Full was my favorite movie. I loved seeing people who looked like me on the screen, and people I could actually relate to.

    Miramax Films

    Also a shame if you haven't seen this cinematic masterpiece.

    But I've grown tired of being on the outside of all the Harry Potter inside jokes that I hear almost daily.

    So, fourteen years after the first film's release I decided to finally watch it. These are my thoughts.

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    1. Hagrid is way too badass for that little ass bike he's riding right now.

    2. I wonder what he looks like without that beard.

    3. *Googles him

    4. Oh.

    Ian Gavan / Getty Images

    5. He is definitely way less Hagrid-y.

    6. WOW DUDLEY THE FUCKBOY! Stomping all the asbestos dust on Harry...

    7. Harry is having an acid trip with these snakes for sure.

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    8. Harry's aunt and uncle are the true witches in the damn family.

    9. Why do they hate Harry so much?!

    10. I wonder if Drake got his OVO logo inspiration from all these owls.

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    10. Hagrid got some nerve trying to fat shame little homie like that.

    11. You gotta get Ron ALLLL THE WAY out of here with that prison sandwich! 😭

    12. Poor Ron Weasley and his government-issued wand...

    13. Ayeee Hermione been lit! So sure of herself at that age.

    14. First two black kids I've seen! Mouthing words with no actual dialogue though. 👀

    15. It's so funny, and by funny I mean frustrating, how the underrepresentation of color isn't seen as problematic, but I digress.

    16. White wizards doing black magic.

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    17. Ron cannot get a break!

    18. The first thing you DON'T do is touch the sperm-like goop that just fell on your shoulder Ron.

    19. Damn. I don't think the sink is the best place to hide Hermione.

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    20. Wow she took the blame like a champ!

    21. That Ozzy Osbourne (Professor Snape) wizard is giving me the heebeejeebees.

    22. OK first black kid got some dialogue announcing the Quidditch games!

    23. Quidditch looks HELLA dangerous.

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    24. I wonder if any wizards have died while playing Quidditch?

    25. Probably, but I feel like the Hogwarts staff kept it a secret.

    26. OK, it was super unnecessary to stand up on the broom like that.

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    27. I SERIOUSLY NEED AN INVISIBILITY CLOAK!!! Do we have the technology yet?

    28. Harry, are you seriously going to leave a broken lantern on the floor like someone is not going to see a problem there man?

    29. Man Ozzy Osbourne Wizard, you are a creepster.

    30. I have no doubts that Hagrid has let out mad secrets.

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    31. How many times are you going to say "I shouldn't have said that" until you stop saying "it"?

    32. Man, Hagrid messy AF.

    33. Ron got heart!

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    34. Oh how Scooby Doo of you, Professor Quirrell. Surprised he didn't call Harry a meddling kid.

    35. Professor Quirrell the back of your head is ridiculous!!!

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    36. Dang the graphics look really good here!

    37. Someone should make a meme of Professor Quirrell after Harry touched him and it should say "When you open the over door after its preheated."

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    38. Nevermind! I did it.

    39. Y'all really going to give these kids a measly ass 50 points and Harry 60 points when they risked their lives?! I'm offended.

    40. Hermione really deserves like a thousand points, she saved their asses a couple times.

    41. These kids will for sure be scarred for life from what has transpired throughout their time at Hogwarts.

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    42. Hagrid's messy ass probably could've given Harry that family portrait a little earlier.

    43. "Oh yeah, your near death experience reminded me!..."

    44. Whew, I feel like I finally fit in with the kids in my generation.

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    45. I enjoyed this! Although I couldn't really see my little eleven-year-old self flipping out like most of the kids in my generation did.

    46. But I can see how everyone else did and still do... I mean it's magic and stuff! That will forever be super tight to a kid.

    47. I'm hyped to see the next one!

    Chamber Of Secrets, you got next.

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