21 Tweets Guaranteed To Crack Anyone With A Job Up

    '"It's five o'clock somewhere" I say as I leave work at 9 AM.'

    1.

    lol my boss just called me into his office and told me I've been spending too much time on twitter. Hold on he's saying something else now

    2.

    When you make your girl mad in the morning her work husband be waiting on her like

    3.

    4.

    when me and my favorite coworker are scheduled at the same time

    5.

    when i'm done using the bathroom at work but remember i could stay a little longer and use my phone

    6.

    "It's five o'clock somewhere" I say as I leave work at 9am

    7.

    Me: I’m not doing shit my boss can kiss my ass *boss walks in* Me:

    8.

    You've seen nothing until you've seen a picture of a pigeon having a job interview to become a pigeon:

    9.

    when you gotta greet your boss after they wouldn't let you call out sick

    10.

    STAGES OF WORKING FROM HOME - Yay I get to work from home - It would be nice to talk to people - I hope that pigeon sits in the window today

    11.

    when your co workers are struggling and you just clocked out

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    my coworker just passed me this v v v important file at the end of the work day

    14.

    we all had to sign a card for a coworker thats retiring and i just wrote "please take me with you" in it

    15.

    RAN INTO A COWORKER AT TARGET. DIDN'T WANT HER TO KNOW I WAS BUYING BABY CLOTHES FOR MY CAT SO I TOLD HER I'M PREGNANT

    16.

    Coworker: “Ooo you on Twitter, what’s your twitter?” Me:

    17.

    my mom yesterday: do u work tomorrow me: yes my mom today: do u work today me: yes i already told u my mom when i'm at work: where are u

    18.

    me: (texting boss) we still on for work today? boss: yes. you dont have to text me this every morning. we're "on" for work every day mon-fri

    19.

    When me & a coworker are talking having a conversation and a customer bothers us for help

    20.

    me and my favorite coworker waiting for a customer to go away so we can go back to talking shit about them

    21.

    When your co-workers try to talk to you on your lunch break