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10 Things To Do This Weekend Instead Of Coachella.

Because even Vanessa Hudgeson has better things to do this weekend.

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1. Knit an entire sweater out of cat hair.

Even better if you're allergic. Because anything is more fashionable than cultural appropriation and the travesty of neon crop tops and leather fanny packs.
Via ladymarshmallow.com

Even better if you're allergic. Because anything is more fashionable than cultural appropriation and the travesty of neon crop tops and leather fanny packs.

2. Start your spring cleaning.

Scrubbing scummy floors still beats overheating in the desert.
Via buzzfeed.com

Scrubbing scummy floors still beats overheating in the desert.

3. File your taxes.

April 15th is coming and contraband selfie sticks are not a tax deduction.
Via nme.com

April 15th is coming and contraband selfie sticks are not a tax deduction.

4. O.D. on Easter candy.

Because who needs tainted hallucinogenic drugs when you can eat SUGAR COATED MARSHMALLOW SHAPED LIKE BABY BIRDS.
Via ibtimes.co.uk

Because who needs tainted hallucinogenic drugs when you can eat SUGAR COATED MARSHMALLOW SHAPED LIKE BABY BIRDS.

5. Call your mom.

It will only take an hour, or two, but it beats being barfed on/bathed in beer.
Via nextimpulsesports.com

It will only take an hour, or two, but it beats being barfed on/bathed in beer.

6. Start a juice cleanse.

Even though scientifically it's pointless/not healthy, it's better than warm beer and exorbitantly priced festival food!
Via huffingtonpost.com

Even though scientifically it's pointless/not healthy, it's better than warm beer and exorbitantly priced festival food!

7. Go to the DMV

Maybe your licensee is expired, or maybe you like getting emotionally destroyed by underpaid government employees. Either way no desert dust storms at the DMV.
Via slamxhype.com

Maybe your licensee is expired, or maybe you like getting emotionally destroyed by underpaid government employees. Either way no desert dust storms at the DMV.

8. Read The Communist Manifesto.

View this video on YouTube

youtube.com

It'll be fun! And Karl Marx totally shares your distaste for over privileged narcissistic teenagers.

9. Buy $400 Sonos wireless speakers

Frivolous? Maybe. But at least with these you'll have excellent sound quality and you'll never have to deal with scheduling conflicts.
Via billboard.com

Frivolous? Maybe. But at least with these you'll have excellent sound quality and you'll never have to deal with scheduling conflicts.

10. Marathon Game of Thrones.

Really the only thing you should be doing this weekend. You'll have front row seats without all the sweaty frat bros stepping on you.
Via noisey.vice.com

Really the only thing you should be doing this weekend. You'll have front row seats without all the sweaty frat bros stepping on you.

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