back to top

Katniss Everdeen's Guide To Black Friday Shopping

May the sales be ever in your favor.

Posted on

1. Black Friday is not about friendship.

2. It's every shopper for themselves out there.

3. Keep your eye on the prize. Hi-def TV first, crap for your friends later.

4. You're not here for 20% off you're here for BUY ONE GET THREE FREE.

5. Listen to Haymitch. Do you know how many people die in this shit every year!?

Via gifthescreen.tumblr.com

Or at least, like, get seriously dehydrated and grumpy.

6. Don't let the other shoppers see your fear.

7. They can smell it from miles away and they WILL trample you.

8. But a good death glare can cull the weak from the door busters.

9. You can't vault over small children in skinny jeans, so dress for the utmost mobility.

10. Get your ass to the front of the lines no matter what it takes.

11. If you don't acknowledge the blood on your braid, it's like you never even punched that bitch for stealing something out of your cart.

12. RUN. THOSE PLAYSTATIONS WON'T BE ON THE SHELVES FOREVER.

13. If you don't begin to hallucinate you're not trying hard enough.

14. If presented with a convenient tracker jacker nest, use it on your fellow shoppers.

Via gifs-planet.com

Don't think they'd spare you.

15. Carboload. That leftover turkey is vital.

16. Get a good night's rest on Thursday!

Via technoir.nl

But sleep with one eye open.

17. Be aware of your surroundings. You never know when you may need to strangle a line-cutter with Christmas lights.

18. Stay warm! It's cold out there that early.

19. Bring a backpack to store important items like coupons, a water bottle, and throwing knives.*

Via effyeahkatnisseverdeen.tumblr.com

*Coupons and water bottle optional.

20. Perfect combat rolling between aisles ahead of time.

21. TAKE NO PRISONERS.

Top trending videos

Watch more BuzzFeed Video Caret right

Top trending videos

Watch more BuzzFeed Video Caret right