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    18 Things You Shouldn't Get Your Mum This Mother's Day

    "I love you mum. Here's some bleach."

    1. On Mother's Day, you can't go wrong with a charming mug.

    2. This one really hits home how special she is.

    3. Shingles and "pneuonia" injections make an ideal last-minute gift.

    4. There are so many great gifts on the internet these days it's hard to know which one to choose.

    5. Victoria's Secret has the "perfect" gift for your mother.

    6. Any kind of lingerie is good.

    7. You could get her a beautiful artwork made from minced beef.

    8. Consider some lovely, lovely bleach.

    9. There are always vajazzle gems. Or condoms.

    10. How about helping her watch her weight with some bathroom scales?

    11. Then there's the classic "hand massager" and digital TV combo.

    12. Just what every mum wants: Washing machine insurance!

    Twitter: @CarleanneGwen

    Because THAT's not sexist at all.

    13. If you're at a loss you can make your own present, or offer to do something nice.

    14. When it comes to Mother's Day cards, you can really let your creativity run free.

    15. But it's important to sum up exactly what she means to you.

    16. And make sure the cat and the dog don't forget their cards.

    17. You can celebrate the day together... in Hooters.

    18. And remember: Always attach a thoughtful message to any gift you get. She'll appreciate it.

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